


This Promise

by sinfuldesire_archivist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-06
Updated: 2010-10-11
Packaged: 2018-09-03 07:40:33
Rating: Teen & Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8703517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinfuldesire_archivist/pseuds/sinfuldesire_archivist
Summary: A series ranging from PG13 to NC17, all about the consequences of Sam and Dean becoming partners.





	1. Chapter 1 No more talking

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the Sinful Desire archivists: this story was originally archived at [Sinful-Desire.org](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Sinful_Desire). To preserve the archive, we began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2016. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Sinful Desire collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sinfuldesire/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** This is pure angst, rather a sad little story, but fear not the series will pick up. Usual disclaimer do not own, no money made etc etc

  
Author's notes: First of a series I shall write, and keep adding to as and when I finally get them finished and out my computer.  


* * *

It’s quintessentially a bad idea, and he sits in the car impassive and brooding, not sure of what to say or do. It’s been like this for a week now, Sam pressing forever pressing and Dean saying no, he says no to everything Sam suggests now and it’s getting him down and Sam too. Today has been different; Sam hasn’t said a word since they woke up in the overheated room of the motel just off the Interstate. Never spoke on single word all through breakfast and never spoke whilst they packed, filled the car and drove away. Dean just drives listening to Journey on the machine in front of him, Sam says nothing, makes no suggestions, and never once asks. Dean knows or thinks he knows that Sam is just sulking but something in the back of his mind is niggling away, making him wonder to himself if Sam isn’t really serious this time.

 

Sam first huddled up to him when it was cold many years ago when they were still kids. His long limbs were just begging to sprout and it was rather like holding a bony daddy-long-legs than his little brother, Sam must have been all of 13 and not totally aware of himself then. Dean was fully aware and it quietly disturbed him how he felt with his younger sibling clinging to him like he was life itself. 

 

Sam had declared he loved Dean when he was 15; Dean for his part had simply gotten up out of the ratty chair he was sitting in and headed out the door, afraid of where the conversation would go. He came back drunk, unable to walk in a straight line and talking incoherently.

 

Of course, when he walked out the door he never saw the crushed hurt look on Sam’s face never saw the bitter fat tears that streaked his cheeks. He never heard Sam sobbing; in fact Sam was in bed asleep after that and never said he loved Dean again.

 

When Sam left for Sanford he never said very much that time either, never said much when Dean collected him years later to go hunt for Dad. An awful lot of road and experience had passed since then, and now Sam had said he wanted to be with Dean, all the time in a relationship and Dean had simply said no. How many different ways could he possibly say no, so he tried quietly, softly with no force, angrily and downright off the rails but Sam still kept asking. The more he asked the more Dean refused and the more he refused the more desperate Sam got, Dean knew that he’d said no one too many times and Sam would never ask again.

 

Just like when Dean had walked away when Sam told him something as simple and beautiful that he loved him, now he was pushing him away again. 

The song on the in car stereo finished and Dean turned the tape cassette over and began humming to the next tune, Sam neither heard or cared, he watched as trees sped by and the fields filled with crops changed colour on the farms they passed. Sam would never again ask Dean for anything, never beg, never request or expect anything. In fact Sam was beginning to rethink being with Dean, he wasn’t getting what he knew he wanted and what Dean wanted. He never would get what he wanted in that respect from Dean, Dean just couldn’t come to terms with the fact he wanted his brother just as much as Sam did.

 

Sam thought it was best to put this all in the open, but yet again he’d been wrong and it hurt just as much as the first rejection. All the same he knew he couldn’t carry on asking, it wasn’t dignified, so he just didn’t have anything to say, what could he say? He certainly wouldn’t apologise to Dean he had nothing to be sorry for.

 

They reached their next job and Sam did speak to Dean, but only to find out information he didn’t really care if Dean felt good, bad or indifferent about the work in hand. He took the offered weapon and they went and did what they did best as a team, neither got hurt and they escaped without so much as a scratch. Weapons safely stashed they headed towards the nearest motel Dean asking if the one they saw was acceptable, only then did Sam sigh and agreed it looked okay. Dean nodded, but noticed Sam neither looked at him or acknowledged his existence other than talking when spoken too. It was now beginning to infuriate Dean, getting under his skin in the worst possible way. He saw red later that evening when an impassive Sam sat on the bed, freshly showered and dressed for bed flicking quietly through the channels, Sam didn’t once look up. Sam for half of his life had always looked at Dean it was Sam’s way of checking Dean was okay, not hurt all the usual brother protectorate conditioning he had. Sam didn’t do it once, never looked at Dean never checked him over, and Dean knew he’d lost Sam for good.

 

Sam would never climb into his bed again, never ask him for help, and never ask his opinion or permission on anything the only thing Sam would talk about was the next job. He would find the information tell Dean all he needed to know but never anything more, he would never ask how he felt, if he was injured or hurt he would never voluntarily pick up the medikit they had in the back of the car and do emergency surgery on his big brother. Dean would have to ask him and Sam would probably do it in total silence with no emotion in his face, no compassion and no empathy.

 

This made Dean totally see red and he exploded shouting and yelling, calling Sam everything he could think of including a few expletives that Sam knew were made up. Sam never said one single word, he just watched Dean which unnerved Dean even more, he grabbed his jacket and left the room fully intending to find a bar get drunk and roll back in around 3 am. Only Dean drove around for an hour, calmed down and little and went back to the empty motel room, Sam was gone.


	2. Chapter 2 - Realisations .. I do care.

  
Author's notes: Second in this series. Not so angsty for those who need a little light refreshment, it will be a bit angsty in the beginning but my mood is good so the story has developed.  


* * *

Sam left the motel room shortly after Dean had gone out, he’d half expected him to go, in fact deep down he knew it would be Dean’s reaction, a natural reaction in dealing with situations he couldn’t get a handle on. Sam certainly knew how to throw a spanner in the works didn’t he? He knew all the buttons to push on Dean to make him act so bewildered, and make him leave. Then Sam was packing up his bags, not sure of where to go or what to do just he had to leave had to get away from Dean. He was causing Dean so much pain and distraction it wasn’t safe being around him. Sam was hanging on by a fine thread and the last set of “no’s” had been the breaking point for him, he couldn’t do this anymore.

 

His need for his brother was outweighing everything; a simple gesture of affection would be taken out of context and it hurt, hurt so damn much. Sam let the motel door shut behind him and he set off at a fast pace walking away from the buildings and onto a street nearby, he had no idea where he was going and didn’t particularly care. He knew when and if Dean got back later that night or in the early hours of the morning he would find him gone. It was better this way, it didn’t given Dean the ability to persuade him to stay or argue a point that fell flat on all levels. Sam just couldn’t do this, not now not ever, the rejection was too hard to deal with.

 

He stopped on the edge of the road and thumbed a lift, the second car that passed stopped Sam climbed in the passenger seat and the car pulled away. Sam didn’t care very much where they were heading, and by the expression on his face his kind benefactor realised conversation wasn’t feasible. So he drove in silence and Sam sat staring out of the window finally sleeping a little with his head against the door frame. 

 

When Dean got back to the motel Sam was an hour away, and the room was cool and quiet. Dean was a little taken aback that Sam left no note on where he was going, or why. Well actually Dean knew why, he’d said no one too many times and Sam had simply taken it the wrong way, didn’t he know that? Dean loved him yes; Dean wanted him around but couldn’t give Sam what he wanted, could he?

 

The true nature of this monster between them was never known to either brother, only that one acted on instinct and gut reaction and the other shied away from it, not wanting to accept any feelings he had for his sibling as real. It was all a blurred bad dream to Dean, something that reality forgot to take a hold on and make tangible. He believed if he ignored it long enough it would simply go away, but all that did was make his little brother up and leave. That burned that hurt that smarted in ways Dean didn’t even realise until the following morning when he woke up alone, an empty bed beside him and no second bag lying on the mattress. This was ten times worse than having silent Sammy beside him, and a million times worse not knowing where he was.

 

Dean rolled to his side and snatched up his mobile from the night stand, flicking through his contacts he selected Sam’s number and pushed the dial number. Lying back down on the pillows he heard the ringing tone on Sam’s phone and hoped to dear God he wouldn’t cut him off or switch the damn thing to answer phone. Dean prayed silently and listened as the phone rang and rang, running his hand over his face he was about to hang up when a slightly sleepy Sam answered.

 

“Dean it’s like four a.m. what the hell do you want?” Sam’s voice was slurred and bleary with sleep.

 

For a moment Dean was lost for words silenced by Sam actually talking to him.

 

“Come home Sam” Dean said quietly looking up at the cracked ceiling.

 

“No”

 

“Please Sam, come home.”

 

“No”

 

“Please, Sam…. I need you.”

 

“No you don’t you never have.”

 

“Sam just get back here please.”

 

“I can’t Dean; it’s too late for all that.”

 

“No it’s not Sam, just get back here and we can talk.”

 

“No we can’t Dean, tried that remember you just keep walking away.”

 

“I promise I won’t Sam, we’ll sit and talk, please just come home.”

 

“Dean”

 

“Yeah”

 

“We don’t have a home.”

 

“I know, come back to this motel.”

 

“No Dean.”

 

“Sam please” Dean was fast loosing the battle and he knew it, he knew Sam would stay gone for as long as he needed, and if that was forever then well Dean would have to accept it.

 

“Dean, please just get some sleep.”

 

“I can’t it’s morning here, so I’ll be up and out of here soon.”

 

“So you want me to meet you in a place that you are preparing to leave, nice one Dean.”

 

“Sam that’s not what I mean and you know it.”

 

Silence ensured and Dean was sure Sam had either fallen asleep or had hung up.

 

“Sam you still there?”

 

“Yeah Dean still here, just looking at bus timetables.”

 

“You coming back then?”

 

“No”

 

“Oh, right”

 

“I want you to meet me at a place called Cambria.”

 

“Where’s that?”

 

“California”

 

“What the fuck are you doing in Cambria, California?”

 

“I’m not there yet Dean; I want you to meet me there. Can you do that?”

 

“Yes Sam, I’ll be there tomorrow some time. Where abouts?”

 

“There’s a main library, can’t miss it.”

 

“Okay, trust you to pick a library.”

 

Sam laughed, a small huff to be exact but it was the first emotional response Dean had gotten from Sam in a long while and it felt good. After Dean had washed and dressed he packed up his stuff, foregoing breakfast he wanted to be on the road quickly, a small knot of excitement in his belly for the first time in what felt like forever. It felt good better than he expected, he felt a thrill at meeting up with Sam even if it had only been a couple of days since they parted company. 

 

He was worried about Sam’s reaction, and what if’s kept cropping up on his journey west; what if Sam went all silent on him again, what if Sam just wanted a face to face meeting to tell Dean to get lost. Dean was having a virtual break down in the car as he parked up, spotting Sam sitting on the steps of what was apparently the library and it was one hell of an ugly building. Dean walked across the road and towards Sam his confidence waning as he fast approached his brother, he was almost at a point of turning round and going back to the car and driving away to save himself more pain. Sam chose that moment to look up at him, and he smiled. This definitely wasn’t a smile of a man who was about to tell his brother to go to hell, to get away from him never to darken his virtual doorstep again. He sat beside Sam, feeling the material of Sam’s jacket against his skin, it felt comforting and warm.

 

“Haven’t been here long have you Sam?”

 

“No got in late last night”

 

“You were near here anyway?”

 

“Yep just a short bus journey so I found a motel and bunked down for the night.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Dean”

 

“Yeah”

 

“What do you want from me?”

 

“I don’t know Sam, nothing, everything. I can’t explain.”

 

“Try.”

 

“Easy for you to say you can talk till the cows come home. For me it’s different never been one to vocalise my feelings.”

 

“Yeah Dean I know, but try.”

 

“I can’t be what you want me to be Sam, I can’t do what you want me to, and I can’t give you what you want, at least I don’t think I can.”

 

“Then don’t think.”

 

“Say what?”

 

“Don’t think about it just react, see how it feels, go with it, that’s what you usually do?”

 

“Sam”

 

“mmm”

 

“That’s what I do with women.”

 

“Well act that way then.”

 

“Sam you’re not a girl”

 

“Really, never would have guessed that Dean, you are smart for noticing.”

 

“Shu’p bitch”

 

“Jerk”

 

They sat in comfortable silence watching people passing them by oblivious to the nervousness of two men sitting on the steps to a library that looked like something a child would build with wooden building blocks. They didn’t notice the lingering looks the darker of the two gave the other, turning away guiltily when Dean noticed.

 

“Sam”

 

“Yeah”

 

“What now?”

 

“I have a motel room.”

 

“That’s the oldest chat up line in the book Sam” Dean felt himself smiling despite the severity of the situation.

 

“You want to be wooed Dean?”

 

“Oh lord, save me now”

 

“Dean I can do romantic if you really want.”

 

“Sam seriously stop it or I’ll get in the car and go.”

 

“You can’t Dean.”

 

“Really, why?”

 

“’Cos you love me.”

 

“Well you got me there little brother.”

 

Dean stood and held his hand out to Sam; Sam took it and stood up looking at Dean the whole time. He knew this was going against the grain for Dean, he knew Dean wouldn’t say no to him now, he’d endure this no matter what and Sam didn’t want it that way. He wanted Dean to be a willing participant not a reluctant toy for Sam to play with, tempting though that was Sam wanted Dean to enjoy the experience not bitterly regret it.

 

“Dean.”

 

“Yes Sam.”

 

“We don’t have to do anything.”

 

“Yes Sam we do, we have to.”

 

“No Dean it’s not about having to it about wanting to, if you don’t want to then we don’t do it, simple as that.”

 

“Then I run the risk of loosing you again Sam can’t do that.”

 

“You won’t lose me Dean; you never lost me in the first place.”

 

“So you’re plan all along was to get me so worked up and scared that I’d come running to you and you’d seduce me in a motel room. Nice one Sam, very subtle.”

 

Sam laughed as they headed towards the car; he was still chuckling as he climbed into his familiar passenger seat.

 

“Dean”

 

“Sam”

 

“Do you want me to seduce you?”

 

“Go fuck yourself.”

 

Sam laughed again, louder this time.

 

“Dean”

 

“What now?”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too Sam, always have.”

 

Sam smiled, it was a beautiful day, the sun was out and he was taking Dean to his motel room, life was good.


	3. Chapter 3 - Bitter Sweet Symphony

  
Author's notes: Slightly less angsty, a little more sappy and has not connection with any song of a similar title. They get down to business in a manner of speaking, does everything go as planned, will it be a success?? Read on and see..  


* * *

It’s both a bitter and sweet thing that’s between the Winchester brothers; it’s a friendship on many levels with love mingled in. For Sam it’s easy he loves Dean, wants Dean, needs Dean, and doesn’t care if it’s right or wrong, he’s never exactly wanted anyone else as much as he wants Dean, and for Dean it’s a little different. The motel is getting closer and Sam is anxious, excited, scared out of his wits and hoping Dean doesn’t back out and run. He can’t tell by looking at Dean whether he feels the same pangs of anxiety, Dean is too good at hiding his feelings, no matter how raw they are. He’s silent all the time they drive never asking anything or speaking without being spoken too first, it’s bothering Sam a little.

 

“Dean”

 

“Yeah”

 

“You okay, I mean you okay with this?”

 

A split second of hesitation followed not enough to make Sam wonder if Dean was just doing this because if he didn’t he’d lose Sam, or thinks he will.

 

“Yes Sam I’m okay with this.”

 

The silence that followed was pleasant no weird atmosphere between the two men just a soft breeze blowing in from off the sea, Dean glancing sideways at the waves as they lapped up over the shoreline. He was pleasantly surprised by the motel Sam had picked, it offered an ocean view and clean sweet smelling rooms, for which he was thankful, the amount of time he’d spent in the car was making him wish for hot water and a comfortable bed.

 

Sam had led the way down a breezy corridor and up some steps to their room, which was on the first floor and overlooked the ocean making Dean stop momentarily to enjoy the view. He’d have time later to take it all in he knew that, so a quick look was all he allowed himself, he knew Sam was impatient, he could read him like a book. His anxious face and eyes that told him he was scared as hell about this all going wrong.

As the door shut Dean realised Sam was seducing him, and it made him smile.

 

“Why are you smiling Dean?”

 

“No reason Sam.”

 

“Yeah right, come on out with it.”

 

“Just dawned on me you’re seducing me”

 

Sam laughed and looked at Dean carefully, he wondered how on earth this was supposed to be, he knew he’d never get away with pushing Dean against the wall and ravaging him there and then, Dean would knock him out. Slow seduction wasn’t something on the cards either; Dean would get bored and knock him out again.

 

In fact it was Dean who instigated the proceedings and turned just as Sam approached him, hands either side of Sam’s face he kissed him. This wasn’t a gentle, let’s-get-to-know-one-another kiss; this was a full force lets-see-how-you-react-to-this-one.

 

Sam reacted immediately opening his mouth so Dean could slowly slide his tongue inside his then duelling with Sam’s tongue as they pulled at each other’s clothing. Their clothes had other ideas and seemed hell bent on making it as difficult as possible for them to get their hands on each other. Eventually Sam pulled away from the kiss, glad the curtains were half shut so Dean couldn’t see his blown pupils and high flush on his cheeks. His fingers sought out the hem of Dean’s tee shirt and pulled it over his head, Dean never took his eyes off Sam’s face or what he could see of it through the soft grey of the room.

 

“Sam”

 

“Yeah”

 

“It’s okay to go slow, I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Okay”

 

“I take it you’ve done this before?”

 

“No never.”

 

“Oh”

 

“You?”

 

“No never”

 

“We’re screwed Dean.”

 

This time they both laughed and the tension that had been building in the room disappeared, some of the nervousness vanished and they both sat on the bed Dean without his tee shirt on Sam with the buttons on his shirt undone. 

 

“This could get awkward” Dean said slowly, allowing himself a momentary glance at Sam, seeing his brother’s face etched with a faint hint of worry.

 

Sam felt that same twist in his stomach, like the time he’d told Dean he loved him, and the time Dean had pushed him away saying no. This time Dean didn’t move he just sat close enough so he could feel the heat from his skin, almost feel him breathing. If anything was going to happen Sam would probably have to take it moderately slowly, as in not rush Dean or he’d be off like a deer with a wolf in hot pursuit, Sam being the wolf. Sam was more than just scared he was outright terrified now, and really had no clue how he was about to start things going again, his natural instinct was to push Dean on the bed and see where things went from that. To be honest Sam was reluctant to even try, he couldn’t gauge how Dean would react, and it was like everything about Dean was closed.

 

“Sam!”

 

“Yeah”

 

“We don’t have to rush into anything here”

 

“I know Dean, but I’ve waited a long time for this.”

 

“You have!”

 

“Yeah Dean I have, didn’t me telling you I loved you give you clue?”

 

“Not really, just thought you were being all chick flick on me.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“Come closer Sam.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Just do it please, come here.”

 

Sam slid himself closer to Dean who had by now lain down on the bed; Sam lay on his back shoulder bumping Dean’s. Lying down was easy they were on an equal footing with Sam not towering over Dean, and Dean not getting a crick in is neck for constantly looking up. 

 

“Now I can see you better.”

 

“Dean what big eyes you have” Sam chuckled to himself.

 

“Laugh it up Sam Riding Hood”

 

Sam carried on chuckling coming to a complete and instant stop when he felt Dean hands on the buckle of his belt tugging at it, he felt it loosen and slip from the loops on his jeans. He swallowed and his shaking fingers felt for Dean’s belt buckle and did the same to Deans, opening it and slipping it through the loops dropping it on the floor behind him. Tentatively his long fingers traced down Deans chest and to the button on his jeans, popping it open and pulling the zipper down slowly, Dean’s eyes never leaving his face, never once looking down. Dean’s breathing was slow and steady he looked calm on the outside but inside he was a wanton raging mess, not knowing whether this was a good idea or not, he could easily have gotten up and said no, but his fear for the aftermath prevented him from moving. So he allowed Sam to slip his cool hand inside his jeans and feel him through the fabric of his underwear, he had to admit that it felt damn good too. Sam felt Dean harden under his gentle caressing with his hand and soon Sam slipped his hand under the elastic of Dean’s underwear and palmed the erection that had appeared. To say Sam was surprised by the reaction Dean’s body was giving him was very much an understatement but it gave Sam the confidence to carry on.

 

“Sam”

 

“Uhuh”

 

“I need more use your hand please.” Dean’s voice was a soft whisper against Sam’s face.

 

“Okay, you want me to go slow?” Sam asked his voice betraying him, he sounded scared and worried.

 

“Yeah, to begin with” 

 

So Sam did what Dean asked, used his hand and carefully grasping hold of Dean he jacked him off slowly to begin with, increasing both the pressure and speed as Dean’s breathing altered. Sam felt Dean’s hand slip over his hip and the pressure from his fingers increased as Sam increased the pace whilst his fist moved up and down over Dean.

 

“Oh lord… I’m gonna…… oh shit…….slow down………ahhhhhh”

 

With the last sound Dean pulled Sam as close as he could, his breathing was rapid and loud and the moans and groans emitted were even louder in Sam’s ear. Dean twisted his fingers in Sam’s hair and went for the ride of his life, his hips matching the pace and intensity of Sam’s ministrations to his now overly sensitive cock. With one final twist and pull Dean came, the soft guttural moans increased in volume as he shouted Sam’s name and relaxed chasing his breath as he came down from a high. Dean loosened his grip on Sam’s hair and rested his forehead on his chin, his breathing easing feeling loose limbed and glowing all over.

 

By Dean’s overall reaction he’d pretty much enjoyed what Sam had been capable of doing, in fact Dean had really enjoyed the contact with his brother and he was only too pleased to reciprocate. In fact Dean was a more than willing participant in helping Sam out with his “little problem” as he called it making Sam smile to himself when he caught a glimpse of Sam in all his glory. 

“Holy crap Sam what the hell do you feed that thing?”

 

“Nothing, why what’s wrong?”

 

“Well nothing really, it’s just big is all.”

 

“Feeling inadequate Dean?”

 

“Shut up bitch and get your ass over here so I can help you out.”

 

Sam had chuckled and Dean had gone to work on him with his hands, skilled hands to say the least. They slipped and slid all over Sam, one on his cock and the other drawing lazy patterns on his back until he found Sam’s hip bone and put enough pressure on it to stop Sam vaulting off the bed. Dean knew how to use his wrist and the slight twisting had Sam coming in record time, and leaving him breathless and slightly dizzy. 

 

Dean hopped off the bed, rinsed his hands in the bathroom and fetched a wet towel in for Sam who was by then almost asleep. Dean cleaned him up as best as he could in the fading light from outside, throwing the towel onto the bathroom floor when he’d finished.

 

Guilt wasn’t something Dean felt very often and right then and there, sitting on a wooden seat on the balcony overlooking the sea wasn’t one of those times. He felt strangely elated not like any elation he’d ever felt before. Of course, Dean had the rush of orgasm many times but he’d not felt as satisfied or relaxed afterwards for a very, very long time. The last time he’d felt this good was in the post orgasm blissed out state when he was around 19 or 20 with some girl, who’s name had disappeared into the mists of time. None of that mattered now, all that mattered was the man in the room behind him sleeping silently, Dean knew his feelings for Sam were pretty normal except right now he realised he loved Sam probably as much as Sam loved him.

 

The sun was setting fast leaving the small sandy cove that the motel overlooked bathed in a soft orange glow, the last rays warming Dean as he sat quietly watching the comings and goings below him. He didn’t know what would happen now, after the boundaries had been crossed or whether anything needed to happen all he knew was he was pleased with the events and didn’t predict any trouble ahead.

 

Sam woke to the room filled with soft orange light and noticed the door was open a touch, he couldn’t see Dean but he knew he was outside. He lay on the bed thinking quietly to himself and wondered if Dean felt as good as he did. He hoped he did.

 

Sam hoped above anything else that this would lead to something more between them and that it would be a bitter sweet affair, he couldn’t deal with anything like that and he didn’t think Dean would either. He feigned sleep when Dean re-entered the room hearing him moving around trying to be quiet and failing miserably.

 

Dean sat on the edge of the bed and Sam felt the mattress depress, a hand stroking his hair softly, how much more girly could Dean get he wondered.

 

“Hey sleepy head, up and at ‘em, need food here.”

 

“Crap Dean” Sam said groggily “can’t you think of anything but your stomach right now?”

 

“Yeah I can but it doesn’t involved food.”

 

“Gross man, gross.”

 

“Come on Sam get up, I’m dying of starvation here, and you sapped my energy levels earlier.”

 

“Yeah right, you’re choice to go sit outside not mine, hence why I slept.”

 

“Okay princess get moving.”

 

“I’m coming, shift your butt off the bed then.

 

Dean stood and smiled as Sam gracefully flipped his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up then stood yawning loudly. Shaking his head Dean picked up his keys and took a long look at his brother, hell this was going to be a good night.


	4. Chapter 4 - This is not an illusion.

  
Author's notes: Dean and Sam come to conclusions, is commitment an issue for one and not the other?  


* * *

Dean is definitely more like his mother, so he’s been told time and time again, looks like her, has her temperament, her hair colour and the undeniable loyalty that seems inherent in all Winchesters and those who they marry. Dean doesn’t actually share his humour, his crude sense of fun or his ability to fuck anything stupid, with his mother, that’s a factor he’s inherited from some other branch of the family. He’s either inherited a lot or just took it on as a pressure value the need to release anger, hate or love in the only way he learned how. 

 

They’d stopped at a nice diner just a little way down from the motel in the evening, it obviously catered for holiday makers but it was clean and busy so obviously the food was good. The brothers had eaten in relative silence making small talk from time to time, and keeping eye contact the rest. Dean was avidly fascinated by Sam, how he sat, how he reacted to the waitress, how he smiled, Dean had never noticed half of Sam’s facial expressions even though he prided himself on knowing him better than anyone.

 

Sam was definitely like their father, a lot more than he would ever admit to himself, he had a fiery temper when he got going, he was mule headed, stubborn to the extreme, but loyal. Sam never had the luxury of knowing his mother, never got the know the woman she was, in fact all he remembered about her was stories that seemed so far fetched it was impossible to relate to her at all. The person their father spoke about and the woman in the photographs seemed worlds apart, and Sam reckoned their father just put her on a pedestal as to him she’d been this perfect being. He remembered telling his father that surely she wasn’t that perfect, that had earned Sam a hand across his face, and sharp angry tears in his eyes. 

 

Sam swore to himself even at 14 never ever to hit his kids if he ever had any. Now just over a decade later he was aware that the possibility of him producing a child would be near impossible. Sam had made his decision no matter how screwed up it was to be with his brother, and no matter how wrong it was he decided it was no one else’s business but theirs. Besides most people took them for a gay couple so who would know.

 

It was so simple Sam wondered how he’d never thought of it before, it made him feel a flurry of excitement and tingles all down his spine as he slipped into the frame of mind of being in a gay relationship. Okay so it was with his brother but who would know? Absolutely no one. The trouble was that Sam was so caught up in the moment of being with Dean for the first time he totally forgot that Dean probably had other ideas, and wouldn’t be so keen to get into a full blown relationship, whether it was with his brother or not.

 

Sam put his idea to Dean the following morning and got the cautious frown he was so used to, then a soft no slipped from Dean’s lips and this was the I-love-you-scenario all over again. Sam’s heart sank and he felt like shooting himself, why did Dean always have to pour cold water on everything he had a brilliant idea about. Sam wasn’t talking much, just looking out of the motel room window watching the beach fill up with holiday makers, he had no concept himself of what it was like to take a family holiday complete with mum, dad, car, buckets and spades and two weeks of fun in the sun. He’d heard people talk about it often enough but had never really experienced it and didn’t think he’d ever get the chance any time in the future. 

 

Dean was lying on the bed watching TV and in no mood to venture outside, he’d not been talking much to Sam either, stating his idea of them “pretending” they were in a relationship and not brothers was positively ludicrous. Ludicrous or not Sam had thought it was a good idea at the time, and had never actually said that they could pretend they weren’t brothers; there wasn’t any getting away from that.

 

“Dean.”

 

“What.”

 

“You mad at me?”

 

“No.”

 

“Look I thought it was a good idea...”

 

“Sam just forget it right.”

 

“Yeah that’s what I have to do with a lot of things isn’t it Dean?”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean.”

 

“Oh come off it Dean, if it wasn’t me it would have been some vacuous air head from the local diner or bar who you’d have gotten off with. Only it happened to be me you got off with and you’re acting just like you do when they ask if they can see you again.”

 

“I am not.”

 

“Sorry to say it Dean but you are. No wonder you can’t find someone who wants to be with you all the time.”

 

“Sam you wanted to be with me, well you said you did.”

 

“Oddly enough Dean I’m having second thoughts about having anything to do with you at all. I don’t feel comfortable around you anymore, you make me nervous.”

 

“I what… sorry Sam you’ve totally lost me.”

 

“Dean I never had you to lose anyway so no harm done.”

 

Sam sat quietly thinking of the biggest mistake of his life, wondering how he was going to extricate himself without blood being shed and without losing Dean totally. Sam had nothing logical he could even put over as a good excuse, he couldn’t return to college it was probably too late for that. He’d tried hunting on his own but that had been an unmitigated disaster, well according to everyone else it had, it didn’t seem anyone had faith in him at all. All he’d ever wanted was his own brand of perfection and that had come in the form of Dean, who apart from being far from perfect had matched everything Sam had come to depend on in Dean. It had been sheer hero worship as a child and even now as an adult he still felt in awe of Dean, but not comfortable around him. If every time he said something out of place to Dean and this was the knee jerk reaction, Sam would definitely be better off living on his own.

 

Dean was lying on his side looking at his brother’s face the expression steadily getting sadder and sadder as the moments passed. Dean had yet again put his foot in it, opened his big mouth without properly having his brain in the correct gear, and poor Sam was paying the price with those emotions again. 

 

“I make you nervous?”

 

Sam glanced at Dean his eyes hidden by the comparative dark of the room his voice was husky and mellow.

 

“Yeah Dean you do.”

 

“How?”

 

“I don’t know, feels like I’m always fighting to be right or heard or believed. It’s like you lost all faith in me a long time ago and you’re treating me like some knuckled headed idiot.”

 

“I don’t, do I?”

 

“No Dean you’re a saint.”

 

“Sarcasm isn’t pretty Sam.”

 

“Go fuck yourself.”

 

With that retort Sam got up off the chair and headed out of the door leaving Dean sitting on the bed looking a little taken aback.

 

Slowly Dean got off his comfortable spot on the bed and headed car keys in hand towards the door puzzled by Sam’s reaction. This wasn’t like Sam at all getting all sulky and sullen, usually Sam was pretty positive, just not right now though. Dean wasn’t getting why Sam wanted to be in a “relationship” with him anyway, it just wasn’t part of Dean psyche to understand what went on in his brothers head and probably it was better that he didn’t read into the situation too closely he didn’t want to be shocked by what he found there. Dean knew exactly what Sam meant by them pretending for all intents and purposes to outsiders that they were a couple, but he didn’t get why Sam would want a full time full blown relationship with him, Dean wasn’t the relationship type in any case so what Sam had said hadn’t been far from the truth, painful but truthful. Okay so Dean had issues with commitment, he had issues with a lot of things, but commitment was high up on his list. Dean had never had any commitment with anyone, he’d never committed himself to anything other than his family and Sam and by far Sam was the easiest and hardest individual he’d ever known. If this is what it meant to be in a relationship well Sam could have it, or keep it or whatever it was he wanted to do with it. Trouble was Dean was too pig headed to realise he was already in way over his head and that one step they’d taken in pushing the barriers just that little further had made commitment an issue for both men.

 

Dean walked up and down the beach front several times before he found Sam sitting in the shade watching families go about their family stuff. Mother shouting at the kids, kids ignoring her, husband half asleep on the sun lounger just grateful for the few weeks of relative peace he thought he’d earned. Sam found it unappealing on so many levels, hilarious yes but just so not him, at least not anymore. At one stage Sam was all for this, settling down with the right girl, having kids, but something along the way had changed all that, perhaps what had happened a few years earlier had been the catalyst Sam didn’t over think that area of his life anymore. Sam preferred to not think about what could have happened in the apocalyptic sense, he preferred how things were now, relatively normal well as normal as things got for the Winchesters. 

 

He’d seen Dean walk past several times but chose to ignore him plus Dean didn’t see him he was busy looking on the other side of the road. Strange how he knew Dean would come look for him, strange after all those years apart, and months later on in their hunting careers that they instinctively knew what the other would do. Usually Sam was like an open book to Dean but he knew his walking out was a new one for him, and would probably take a little getting used to but right now Sam wanted his own way in this, and he knew Dean would come to enjoy the benefits it would bring. He’d drag him there kicking and screaming if necessary and it wasn’t like Dean had been an unwilling participant in all this, he’d been just as keen as Sam had keener if anything. No Sam would try and be patient with Dean having piqued his curiosity with his litany of words now all he had to do was draw Dean in and bingo he’d have him hook, line and sinker.

 

Dean sat down beside Sam glanced at him slightly and bumped his shoulder against Sam’s.

 

“Well princess you certainly like the drama don’t you?”

 

Sam just huffed.

 

“Sam you know me, not good at commitment stuff, I’d be lousy in any relationship.”

 

“Dean you’ve had a relationship with me your entire life and it’s certainly nothing new to either of us is it?”

 

“No suppose not.”

 

“So why would commitment be an issue?”

 

“Never done it have I.”

 

“True.”

 

“So you’d want me to stay faithful?”

 

“Hell yes.”

 

“What if I couldn’t?”

 

“I’d divorce you.”

 

Dean chuckled this was clearly the silliest conversation he’d ever had and with many silly conversations under his belt this by far took the first prize. 

 

“Yeah Sam we’re already related so we technically can’t get married.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Because oh bright spark, same sex couples can’t get married in several if not all states in the U.S. Then there’s the consideration of us being brothers, and that my friend is a definite no, no.”

 

“God Dean you’ve seriously thought this out haven’t you?”

 

“Not really, just stuff I’ve learnt over the years, my brain does take things in you know.”

 

“Fascinating thought that is Dean it still doesn’t clarify why you don’t want to be with me.”

 

“Thing is Sam I’m with you right now, we did what we did yesterday and I can’t deny it’s got me interested. But I don’t know if I can give you what you want you know a full on committed relationship.”

 

“Bull and you know it.”

 

“So you don’t want commitment or relationship or whatever it’s called these days?”

 

“Dean I just want you, and only you, whether you can handle being with me 24/7 like that is another matter. I still love you Dean I always will, but you scare me sometimes and because of that I don’t feel comfortable enough in trusting you.”

 

“Hey I’m the most trustworthy person I know.”

 

“Dean your ego is getting out of hand now.”

 

“It’s not it’s just me being reasonable.”

 

“Yeah you’re a simple man with simple tastes, I don’t think.”

 

“Sam.”

 

“What”

 

“You know I love you too don’t you?”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yeah you giant sap of course I do.”

 

“Aww Dean that’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.”

 

“Shut up you idiot.”

 

Dean laughed and watched as two young women in their twenties walked past holding ice cream cones and giving the Winchester’s sideways glances as they made their way across the sand. Although he noticed them he made no move to go towards them or even return their eager smiles, Sam was grateful for that, he dreaded to think what he would have done if Dean had’ve gotten up and wandered over to them. Sam was in no mood for a challenge right now and if Dean was about to make a point of him being able to pull a girl whenever he wanted well Dean would be on his own quicker than a blink of an eye.

 

Dean sat still for a moment still puzzled by Sam’s earlier outburst and a little confused about why Sam wanted him to stick around, and why Sam would want him in the first place. Dean to Dean was a good catch but he knew his limits and his commitment issues were something he didn’t take lightly, he liked being free and single he relished the challenge of many things including women. Now it was like Sam was telling him no more one night stands, and definitely no more women. Dean could actually live with that if anything from the previous afternoon’s delectations had taught him the one thing was he enjoyed the feelings it had produced. He liked the thrill it induced and the feeling of tranquillity and well being he had afterwards, he wanted more, much more. Now just to get Sam on the same page and they would be cooking.

 

“Sam.”

 

“Mmm”

 

“You want an ice cream?”

 

Sam laughed looked at Dean and nodded his head; they both got up in unison and headed off for the small hut that sold ice cream. Walking back along the walk way by the beach they headed in the general direction of the motel room eating the ice cream cones like a couple of kids. This was the one thing as children they’d definitely missed out on, that and so much more, perhaps it was about time they enjoyed the simpler more normal things in life before they headed back to hunting.

 

“I feel sick now.”

 

“Good ice cream though Sam.”

 

“Definitely, better than the shit we bought in Oakland that once do you remember?”

 

“Ewww don’t remind me, Dad said it was just bits from the fruit and it turned out to be something nasty, gave you food poisoning for a week.”

 

“Probably rat shit.”

 

“Or mouse.”

 

“Dean now I really feel sick.”

 

Dean laughed and put his arms around his brother pulling him to him for a hug, Sam was surprisingly soft to touch, hard muscle stretched taught across oceans of tanned skin, but nicely soft all the same. Dean held his brother close to him feeling him breathing slowly, feeling his body against his and it was a nice feeling, although it didn’t feel wrong Dean slowly got it that this was their thing. No one else could tell them that was wrong, hell they knew more wrong in their lives than any other people on the planet, they’d witnessed more than the average human could withstand. They’d come through stuff that anyone else would have been in therapy for weeks or even years, they’d endured survived but had come out the other side a little damaged and a little less trusting of their fellow man. It was an obvious choice as far as Sam was concerned, he wanted his brother, loved him knew him well and trusted him to a degree, all he had to do was convince Dean to give up the one night stands and everything else would logically fall into place.

 

Dean wanted to be in something that meant more than just the short term thrill of chasing a girl and an hour later leaving her bedroom feeling no better, and certainly not fulfilled in any way shape or form. It left him with a bitter taste on more than one occasion and verbal abuse on many more, somehow it had lost the entire thrill and excitement and it was now so routine it had become boring. Perhaps dean was shallow after all, perhaps he wasn’t able to give Sam what he wanted but he was sure as hell going to try and stay faithful to him, he owed him that, and owed him so much more too. His love for Sam held no end, and after all he’d do anything for Sam, well within reason, swinging off the chandeliers wasn’t something he looked at as a challenge.

 

“Sam”

 

“Yeah Dean.”

 

“You still feel sick?”

 

“Nah its passing.”

 

“Good ‘cos I seriously want to kiss you.”

 

“Pardon,”

 

“You heard me you moron.”

 

“Did you say you wanted to kiss me?”

 

“Yeah if I have to repeat myself again…”

 

Sam got up from his prone position on the bed, the sick feeling suddenly vanished and headed for Dean’s side of the room, and lying down next to his brother he felt the soft huff of warm breath on his face. Dean’s hands were suddenly all over his brother’s torso feeling learning and exploring their way around, Sam loved it this deep connection. He felt the warmth of Dean’s hands on him and it made him groan softly searching out Dean’s soft full lips and pressing into a kiss. Mouths slipped over each others tongues duelled slowly it was unrushed easy going and blissful, Dean moved slightly using his upper body to pin Sam to the bed and Sam went willingly letting Dean take control, or as much as Sam would allow. Dean tipped his head to one side and engulfed Sam’s mouth feeling the sudden urge to push a little harder and press his body a little tighter to Sam’s. Sam’s hands were first on Dean’s shoulders then up over his neck and into his short cropped hair, fingers gripping lightly at the short thick strands. Sam’s jeans were suddenly seventeen sizes too small for his large frame and he wanted desperately to dispose of them.

 

“Clothes off Dean.”

 

“Not yet Sam, just want to do this a bit longer.”

 

“Please Dean these jeans have it in for me.”

 

Dean quit nibbling on Sam’s neck and glanced down between them both and realised Sam’s predicament.

 

“Ahh I see… so we’ll just have to release the tension then.” His fingers deftly undid the belt buckle button and zipper in one smooth move, Sam sighed in relief and Dean smiled at him.

 

Dean’s now moist lips sought out Sam’s and they began kissing in earnest, no longer as soft and unhurried as before, now there seemed to be an urgency. It was critical to Sam that Dean was willing in all this he didn’t want to go through everything and at the end have Dean walking away disgusted with himself for allowing what would eventually happen.

 

Sam managed to pull away reluctantly and cupping Dean’s face in his hands he looked at his brother steadily, noting Dean’s dilated pupils and hard breathing.

 

“You sure about this Dean, I don’t want you going all postal on me.”

 

“Sam please I want this, just don’t stop the kissing that’s pretty nice.”

 

“Dean please if we do this….”

 

“Yeah Sam I know, there’s no going back I know little brother I know.”

 

Dean pushed forward and enveloped his brother with his arms and body and they lay together kissing like it was the last thing on earth they’d ever do.


	5. Chapter 5 - Let's go forward not backwards

  
Author's notes: Slight warnings of oral sex. Enjoy my friends enjoy.  


* * *

The kissing continued and what seemed like hours passing were only a few minutes. Sam’s mouth felt abused, Dean wasn’t about to kiss him like he was some virgin, no way Dean was letting him know he was into this, and into this in a big way. Sam let Dean take control, finding he rather liked it being ever so slightly submissive to his big brother but only enough to give Dean the impression he was in charge. Dean was actually a good kisser fond of using his tongue to explore every inch of Sam’s mouth making him groan like a teenager, their breathing hard and laboured when they eventually surfaced for much needed oxygen. Sam felt very uncomfortable even though his Jeans were undone and Dean was doing weird stuff with his finger tips under Sam’s tee shirt, he knew he needed to get them off before he did himself some serious harm. Jeans were a bitch at times.

 

Sam struggled a bit, feeling Dean kissing his neck, his lips soft against his skin, unfamiliar sensations drifting up and down his spine as Dean turned his attention to Sam’s earlobe. By this time Sam had stopped struggling to wiggle out of his jeans and just let the sensations run through him, all coherent higher brain function deteriorated in one moment of lust. If Dean didn’t get to what he was going to do Sam wouldn’t be held responsible for stripping his brother have having him up the wall, and at this rate that sounded very appealing to Sam.

 

Sam moaned softly causing Dean to stop earlobe sucking and look at him quizzically, his face tipped slightly to one side, his mouth shiny and lips slightly bruised.

 

“You okay there Sam?”

 

“Yeah…. Just need to get out of these god damn jeans, give us a hand Dean.”

 

Dean chuckled softly and hefted himself up off his elbow and sat back on his legs and assisted his brother out of his jeans. If Dean had any doubts about any of this he certainly wasn’t showing it rather he looked wide eyed and like a man discovering a new taste for the first time and loving it. He’d tasted Sam and found his addiction to his brother was more than just brotherly love it was a real addiction, one that would probably have him wracked with guilt for a very long time to come. Dean slid his fingers down Sam’s body stopping just above the waist band of his jeans and gave them a gentle tug pulling them over Sam’s hips and down to this thighs, he then moved down the bed a bit more and hauled the Jeans off the rest of Sam’s legs. Sam simply grinned at him.

 

Lifting his arm up to Dean he pulled him back towards him and the kissing continued, Dean knowing full well that Sam was enjoying this way too much. 

 

“I want more Dean.”

 

“I know Sam, let me get used to doing this and we’ll take it from there.”

 

“Dean I mean I want you to blow me.”

Dean coughed the likelihood of him ever being asked to do that was at zero up until that point. He glanced at Sam who sighed softly and smiled a hint of fear hidden behind those eyes, damn it Dean was in so far over his head right now he didn’t know whether to run or stay. The fight or flight syndrome hit him hard he honestly didn’t know how to give head, he knew what he felt like to be on the receiving end with some pretty blonde sucking on him like a piston, but to do that to his brother.

 

“Dean, please just try it.”

 

Dean said nothing and instead of him feigning madness and leaving Sam literally hanging he got rid of Sam’s underwear in record speed along with his own clothing and settled down to suck him. Sam hadn’t a clue what to expect, if Dean’s kissing was anything to go by he would probably either suck on Sam like an express train and make him red raw and unable to pee for a week or he’d take it slowly.

 

No Dean did what Dean liked, he rolled his tongue lightly over the top of Sam’s cock, the sensation was exquisite and Sam didn’t know whether to grab Dean’s hair or the headboard. He chose the one that wouldn’t thump him if he pulled too much, and grabbed the headboard hard. Dean continued swirling his tongue round and round the top of Sam’s cock and on each sweep hit the most sensitive spot making Sam gasp and moan, a few swear words creeping out now and then.

 

Dean’s mind was at that point on overload, considering he was about to suck his younger brother, he was committing something that in western society was definitely frowned on. All the implications of this going as far as it probably would were folding in on Dean, and he knew as he sucked at Sam he was dammed for all eternity and for once he didn’t give a flying fuck. He stopped thinking about consequences and rotting in hell, already been there and done that, and began to enjoy the sensation of his brother trying his hardest not to buck off the bed and land on the floor.

 

Dean knew damn well he couldn’t take all of Sam in at once, hell he’d never even done this sort of thing before but he found a solution. He simply sucked on the top part of Sam’s cock and held the bottom part in his hand; Sam seemed to be enjoying it so obviously he was doing something right. Dean noticed that Sam was gripping onto the headboard like it was preventing him from flying off the bed, the muscles in his long arms flexing and releasing as the pleasure rolled through him.

 

As Dean’s head bobbed up and down the speed increasing as he was getting into this himself, he felt Sam’s hand on his head softly stroking his hair; it was the gentlest thing anyone had ever done to him. The feel of his brother hand just resting there, softly stroking his short hair with his thumb was probably the closest expression of love Dean had ever felt without speaking. This was totally new to Dean and he liked this he liked it very much indeed, and he increased the speed and pressure as he continued sucking on Sam, who was now very vocal.

 

“Fuck Dean…don’t stop…more of that…yeah just, oh …my...God, I’m gonna…”

Dean didn’t even try and speak, firstly physically impossible and secondly he was enjoying looking up and watching Sam approaching his orgasm. Sam looked pretty good when he was in the throws of pleasure; his eyes tightly shut his mouth slightly open and his breathing hard and heavy.

 

Dean closed his eyes and continued his mind empty of all doubts; he was concentrating on making this so good for his brother. He felt Sam tense and moan loudly knowing Sam was just about to come he slowed his head movements and instead increased the pressure from his lips and slid slowly down Sam’s cock. The loud guttural moan and sigh from Sam indicated he was there and Dean felt the come hitting the back of his throat, feeling no desire to swallow he held it in his mouth. Pulling off Sam with a squelchy popping sound he got up off the bed and headed for the bathroom and spat the contents of his mouth into the sink. Odd taste he thought to himself as he filled his mouth with cold water not overly unpleasant at that point he was unaware of Sam behind him.

 

“Jesus Dean, I thought you were throwing up then.”

 

“Nah just unfamiliar taste is all.”

 

“You okay?”

 

“Yeah fine Sam, though I do feel like I’ve been sucking on a drain pipe for a week.”

 

Taking that as a compliment Sam’s face lit up and he walked away from the bathroom laughing, flopping down on the bed and looking back at Dean as he made his way over towards him. Dean sat close to Sam on the edge of the mattress, he was uncomfortably hard and nothing he did made his go away, naked grandmas usually did it but not this time he was hard end of. Sam noticed and as Dean mused about naked politicians and naked grandmas he felt a hand on his cock then Sam’s head in his lap and his mouth over his hard member.

 

Dean lent back on Sam one arm up his back and the other down Sam’s legs; Sam curled himself around Dean and carried on sucking. For Sam this felt like a gift, Dean wasn’t leaping up off the mattress and ranting on about how he couldn’t handle this, no he was enjoying the sensation. Sam went to work busily bobbing his head up and down, pressure hard on Dean’s cock, the speed fairly fast after all Sam had seen his brother jerking off several times over the years and knew a little about his preferences. Dean let his head fall back and his eyes closed, god this was the best ever, just the way he liked it. All slippery wet and warm, just enough suction from Sam’s hollowed out cheeks. He felt Sam’s tongue flick over the nerves in his cock head and sighed loudly his eyes opening slowly. His breathing increased in speed as did Sam’s head movements, his hand twisting slowly around Dean’s cock, orgasm was approaching at rocket speed.

 

Dean felt the familiar tug in his groin and the orgasm crashed around him, feeling it running up his body right to his neck, his skin flushing rosily as he groaned out his satisfaction and pleasure.

Sam pulled away and grinned at Dean who looked down at him bleary eyed, obviously Sam had no problems swallowing.

 

“See told you you’d enjoy it.”

 

“Yeah you did Sam.” Dean said softly, he was blissed out in post orgasmic fuzz.

 

“You look weird like this.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“All spaced out and calm.”

 

“I’m always calm.”

 

“Yeah, whatever.”

 

“Shut up Sam I’m enjoying this moment.”

 

“I know me too.”

 

“I’m tired Sam.”

 

“I’m hungry”

 

“Jesus is that all you think about putting food in that never full pit of a stomach of yours?”

 

“No not all the time, I think of rimming you occasionally.”

 

Dean’s eyes shot open and he looked at Sam, who was moving under the covers and smiling slyly to himself. Oh lord thought Dean, another lesson endeth and a new one is beginning. Smiling softly to himself he got in next to his brother and lay there, letting the moment wash over him, contented and sleepy he fell into a dreamless wonderland, Sam curled up beside him. What could be better?


	6. Chapter 6 - This Space between us

  
Author's notes: Schmoopy, angsty, naughtyish, innuendo, and ooo a surprise!!!!!  


* * *

It’s only been several hours since Dean and Sam got busy together and sucked the hell out of one another, it’s only been that long and Dean feels guilty, he can’t help it. Dean knows full well that they are both consenting adults, knows full well he didn’t force Sam into anything in fact it was more like the other way round, but he just feels bad. It’s not that sick type of bad he just feels as though this isn’t something that’s going to improve their situation anytime soon and he’s worrying now that it could make it worse.

 

He lies still the space between them a void, Sam sleeping breathing quietly peacefully unaware of the turmoil going on in Dean’s confused head. If he were awake Sam would talk some sense into Dean, tell him he had nothing to worry about and absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Sam had wanted this as much as Dean had a lot more in fact he’d wanted Dean for so long it was a blur as to when his feelings changed. As a youngster Sam had looked up to Dean, literally for as long as he could remember. Then the looking up to big brother had changed to adoration, love then desire. Sam had long ago reminded himself that this unhealthy obsession he had for his brother wasn’t going to do him any good so he fled finding a way out by going to Stanford, and for a while that helped. Only when Dean reappeared on the scene and even with Jess in the same room he couldn’t help that small pang of wishful thinking in the back of his mind. 

 

Dean shifts his position in the bed and slowly gets out he needs to use the bathroom and sort his stuff out or he’ll be like a bear with a sore head all day long. He heads into the small but nicely decorated bathroom, peers at himself in the mirror frowns, takes care of business then turns the shower on. Standing under the hot stream of water he washes away the previous night’s delectations and thinks hard to himself. He knows what Sam wants from all this and for the time being although the night before was a lot more than he expected, he can’t bring himself to even think what or how they are going to go forward. He’ll be in denial he knows this, and then Sam will get all pissy again and they’ll be back to square one before either of them has time to think properly. 

 

Dean turns off the water, steps out of the shower cubicle and dries himself off with a huge bath sheet, wrapping it around his waist he heads out into the bedroom feeling the cool chill of the air con hitting his warmed skin. He half expects Sam to still be sleeping and recoils a little when he sees Sam lying on his back regarding the ceiling like he would the Sistine Chapel. 

 

“Wondered where you were Dean.”

 

“Just in the shower Sam, you just woke up?”

 

“Yeah. Man did I sleep well last night.”

 

“Wonder why.” Dean mused to himself.

 

“Sorry can’t hear you.”

“Nothing just mumbling to myself.”

 

“A sign of madness Dean.”

 

“Whatever, frat boy.”

 

“Shut it weirdo.”

 

Dean dresses smiling as they continued back and forth trading mild insults and smiles, so much for this being awkward and Dean wracked with guilt, that had well and truly gone out the window in an instant. Dean felt strangely relieved that Sam wasn’t looking everywhere but at him, he was making continuous eye contact. Everything was as it always was; no muted sudden silences just them being brothers again.

 

It was like that all day, small talk that was light and friendly then beers at a bar in the evening watching the sun set and the tide come in.

 

“I could live here.” Dean announced on his third beer.

 

“No you couldn’t you’d go nuts after an hour.”

 

“Sam we’ve been here for what feels like weeks.”

 

“Two days Dean, only two days.”

 

“Oh well feels longer, but its still nice here.”

 

“Yeah its okay I suppose.”

 

“What you missing the open road?”

 

“A little but I miss having you around 24/7.”

 

“Oh God shoot me now.”

 

“Shut it Dean, I mean it’s nice being with you, anywhere.”

 

“Oh brother what’s next poetry and hand holding?”

 

Sam huffed and frowned at Dean, he knew full well Dean wasn’t prepared to go any further than they had the night before, no penetration of any sort was happening.

Sam could actually handle that, he was a little unsure himself as to whether things should take that extra step. Not that the actual deed bothered him it was the fact that this was Dean his big brother his mentor, friend, lover. He thought on that, and liked the sound of it his lover, he repeated it in his head a few times and smiled around the neck of his beer bottle.

Dean noticed the smile and wondered what devious plan Sam was hatching and if it involved him naked on a bed and Sam behind him doing what he’d threatened a night before, rimming.

 

“Sam”

 

No response.

 

“Sam”

 

“Uh?”

 

“Wake up geek boy.”

 

“What Dean.”

 

“You look like you’re planning something. Something that involves us.”

For emphasis Dean waved his free hand between the two of them.

 

“Maybe I am and maybe I’m not.”

 

Dean shook his head and shook his head slowly, standing he pointed at Sam’s beer bottle, Sam nodded at the offer of another.

 

Dean walked towards the bar fully aware Sam was watching him, he stood at the counter and of course the bar maid came over, all large boobs and eyes, very little brain and bleached blond hair tied up in a loose spider like pony tail on the top of her head. Sam had clocked her before Dean had gotten out of his chair and noticed the way she kept glancing towards Dean. He wondered if Dean would want to reclaim his manliness and go off with some nameless woman just to prove a point or just to piss Sam off. Sam hoped is was neither and was very impressed with Dean when he ignored her obvious flirting. He picked up the beers and left the bar leaving her with a frown and a disgusted look on her face. Obviously Dean wasn’t interested or was giving the appearance of not being interested.

 

Dean hadn’t gone to the bar for anything more than beers, he’d noticed the bar maid of course he had he wasn’t blind, but in all honesty his interest in her was nothing more than serving him what he wanted. That being the beers nothing more.

 

Dean sat down by Sam again and Sam just glanced sideways at him.

 

“What’s up frat boy?”

 

“Nothing just amazed at you sometimes.”

 

“What only sometimes?”

 

“Yeah sometimes Dean you can really be amazing.”

 

“Aren’t I always?”

 

Dean gave Sam a look which could have melted steel, it almost made Sam combust on the spot, a low spike of desire in the pit of his stomach and his eyes widening were the only indications that he was turned on.

 

“You teasing me Dean?”

 

“No Sam I’m not.”

 

“But you don’t want to do anything more than what we did last night, right?”

 

“Not yet Sam, like I said give me time to adjust to this. I mean its new to both of us and well it’s not something we can rush into is it.”

 

Sam laughed, he was suddenly caught with visions of wooing Dean, sending him little notes, text messages and telling him he loved him. Well if that was what Dean wanted then Dean was going to get it, full on with bells. They left the bar that night walked the short distance to the hotel and fell asleep as soon as they were lying down, no more naughty business for the two Winchester brothers’ at least not for that night.

 

The following morning was a bright blue sky affair with not a cloud in sight, the sun was up and the heat was evident early in the morning. Sam was awake first letting Dean sleep in for a few extra minutes before waking him by shaking him firmly by the shoulders, he would have preferred to have kissed him awake but the thought of Dean punching him wasn’t high on the agenda. Dean looked at him smiled and pulled himself reluctantly out of the bed, the bed that they were sharing, no more nights sleeping alone; they’d be in one bed all the time now.

 

By the time they had dressed, had a sort out in the room and decided to stay one extra night checked at the front desk that this was okay they had gone to the car. Not really knowing where they were going or what they were to do in their small holiday they had headed for a larger beach just down the coast line. It wasn’t that far but the place was far busier than the one they had left, the beach was filled with holidaymakers, families with children and elderly couples walking down the promenade hand in hand. A little too twee for Dean’s taste and he frowned at the scene in front of him as they parked in the beach side car park. Sam had made him stop there, hadn’t said much but got out the car and headed off along the side walk, Dean had wanted to go with him but Sam had told him to sit in the car. 

 

Dean leaned over and clicked on the radio, summer by Bobby Goldsboro came on and Dean looked at the radio like it had something against him. This song meant nothing too him personally but he remembered it being played at home by his mother, or at least he thought he remembered her humming it in the kitchen. Strangely enough old Bobby had the date right it was the last day of June and boy was it a hot one.

 

The tune finished and Dean could see Sam striding towards him holding two ice cream cones in his hands, he looked pretty happy about things, and Dean wondered what the hell he was up to. Sam was weird at times, cute, nice, fun to be with but hell he was weird.

 

If this was Sam’s idea of, getting to know Dean, he’d be wearing the ice cream cone on his head pretty swiftly. Sam came round to Dean’s open window and handed Dean his cone, Dean in turn frowned at it.

 

“It’s not drugged Dean.” Said Sam as he climbed gracefully into the car.

 

“Yeah, but ice cream Sam what are we five again?”

 

“Nope but its fucking hot Dean, so it may cool us down.”

 

Dean started on his ice cream and watched the scenes in front of him.

 

“Just think Sam that could have been you.” Dean indicated a man and woman with a baby in a pushchair. Sam’s eyebrows disappeared under his hair, and he shook his head slowly.

 

“No man I gave up on that path a long time ago.”

 

“No regrets then?”

 

“A few, but I’m getting over them.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Nothing really just it’s not likely we’ll have kids is it?”

 

“Probably not.”

 

“We could be the last Winchesters Dean.”

 

“So cheerful Sam, if you want we can adopt.”

 

Once Sam had stopped laughing he glanced at Dean who passively looked back at him waiting until he had regained his composure.

 

“You serious Dean?”

 

“Not really.”

“No us two as parents, would be laughable wouldn’t it.”

 

“Sam we’d be brilliant parents.”

 

“Well you would Dean, remember your raised me singled handily.”

 

“Yeah, I suppose I did.”

 

Sam looked in the same direction as Dean, maybe a few years ago he had a hankering for being a family man, married, 2.4 kids the full works, but now Sam really didn’t think he’d fit into the category. In fact Sam was adamant to himself that perhaps how things had happened were for the best. With ice creams devoured Dean started up the engine on the car happy to be away from happy family beach and heading back to the relative quiet of the town they were stopping in. 

 

The nice thing about the motel they were in was that it was cleaned on a daily basis; the towels weren’t just picked up off the floor and re-hung on the towel rails. The carpet was freshly vacuumed, and the sheets were crisp and white. Dean could get used to this sort of living no matter if it were pricier than they were used to. Sam had purposely chosen this place; not only for the view but also for the room rate he’d negotiated with the manager. It had been obvious to Sam that the motel wasn’t the most fashionable it didn’t have all the amenities that others did, no laundry facilities, no pool and no restaurant. The location was its only selling point but it was rather close to a main road and if you had a small family then crossing it to that thin strip of sand loosely called a beach was a nightmare. Sam had chosen wisely.

 

With one more day here Sam wanted Dean to be as relaxed about their blooming relationship as he felt. He didn’t want Dean to gross out on worrying how things may go in the future. He mainly wanted Dean to enjoy what they were doing now, i.e. hand jobs, and nice slow oral sex. If that’s what Dean wanted then Sam wasn’t about to press him into anything further, he could wait as long as he needed.

 

Dean dropped onto the bed and yawned and it was only midday, Sam frowned at him obviously sea air made Dean tired. Then again both of them had somehow managed to squash in 7 hours solid sleep the night before, something rare for both of them. Survival on 4 hours maximum was a necessity in their line of business. Sam sighed and watched as Dean’s eyes closed slowly; as they did Sam settled down and pulled a small tablet of writing paper from inside his jacket. He knew he could never say what he actually felt to Dean face to face that would be both embarrassing and very difficult. Dean wasn’t a man who wore his heart on his sleeve, not that Sam did but he would probably walk away if Sam suddenly got into the I love you so much routine.

 

Dean’s breathing evened out slowly and he looked peaceful as Sam opened up the writing paper, took out a pen and began to write, carefully thinking about each sentence.

 

 

Dean

 

I know this is going to look really weird to you but bear with this please. I need to be able to put down how I feel and right now talking to you face to face about these things is a bit difficult. I want you to know how things are in my head then I’m hoping it will make you feel more comfortable.

 

For one I get that you don’t want to go any further than we have already, and I’m really okay with that, I won’t push you Dean. I can’t make you do something you don’t feel right with can I? I love you Dean and loving you isn’t about forcing my desires on you no matter how much I desperately want it. Okay so that’s a little over the top but bear with me.

 

I’ll wait I promise Dean, but if I get carried away from time to time just let me know, in a nice way please, I don’t want a black eye continuously do I. All I need from you is commitment, a promise that it’s just us from now on; if you can do that for me then I’m satisfied. If commitment is going to be an issue then the relationship has to stop now or it will be too painful to continue.

 

Remember I’ll love you no matter what.

 

Sam

 

 

Sam carefully folded the paper in two and placed it in the envelope purchased at the same time, he wrote Dean’s name on the front of the envelope and propped it up on the bedside table next to the lamp.

 

Leaving the room Sam decided he should leave Dean to read his letter in private, so he headed down to the beach. He sat on the wall overlooking the water and watched the waves lapping up the sand, it was therapeutic to say the least and Sam watched transfixed for a little while. The beach was empty and he realised he’d sat there for at least an hour, so he imagined that Dean had read the letter. Sam was scared out of his wits and he had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach that he could have pushed too much, but saying he would wait was definitely an implication that he needed Dean. Well in fact it implied nothing very much it just told Dean the truth, how he felt, what he wanted but he was prepared to wait. Now his fear was if he went back to the room Dean would have packed and gone not able to handle a relationship on a one to one permanent basis with commitment at the back of it, he could see Dean running. Sam felt weird inside again like he would be sick, his head ached and he felt feverish and very frightened. 

 

So Sam sat on the wall watching the waves.

 

Dean woke up and the room was gloomy, he snapped on the bedside lamp and noticed the envelope beside it. His heart gave a mighty leap in his chest and he sprang off the bed and searched around for Sam calling his name, noticing as he almost threw himself out the door that Sam hadn’t left for good, his boots were still under the table by the TV. Dean sighed feeling the colour returning to his face and the blood rushing around his system. He sat down shakily on the bed and picked up the envelope, he was going to kill Sam for scaring him like that, no way was frat boy getting away with this one.

 

Opening the envelope and pulling out the folded note paper Dean began reading, he re-read the letter twice more then folded it carefully put it back in the envelope and put it in his inside jacket pocket and went looking for his brother. They needed to talk.

 

Dean felt the sea breeze hit his face as he crossed over the now relatively quiet road and spotted Sam a little ways up the beach sitting on a wall. Poor Sam had put quite a lot into his letter, and by Dean’s standards of letter writing it was an awful lot. He felt sorry for Sam; he knew Sam wanted more from this, more than he was at the moment prepared to get into. Perhaps in time Dean would be more receptive to the idea, but at the moment he was content to get to know how his brother ticked and what he liked, more than just shoving his dick in his butt and being done with it. If this was going to be long term, and Dean was damn certain it was they both had some learning to do not just Dean.

 

Dean stood behind Sam and he looked a forlorn lost figure sitting there alone watching the sea. Dean wondered if he should sneak up behind him and grab him by the head but probably Sam would hurl him over his head and Dean would end up on his back on the sand with Sam laughing at him. No Dean would be all cool and calm about it.

 

He approached Sam slowly and sat down beside him letting the breeze wash over him, Sam sat still he was very pale.

 

“You okay Sam?”

 

“Yeah sort of.”

 

“I got you letter.”

 

“And.”

 

“Nothing, it’s what I want too Sam.”

 

“You do?”

 

“Yeah of course, I do, why wouldn’t I, it’s good for starters.”

 

“So no fooling around with other people.”

 

“No Sam no fooling around with other people for either of us.”

 

“Good.”

 

Sam smiled and sat still his face a picture of happiness, Dean had made him happy.

Dean was contented to sit in silence and enjoy the companionship he had with Sam right at that moment. If there was a perfect moment in their lives that was one of them, if they played their cards right and didn’t screw this up there could be other “perfect moments”.

 

“Your letter sucked by the way Sam.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Okay you’re definitely the girl in this relationship.”

 

“Yeah, whatever Dean.”

 

Sam got up from his position and extended his hand to Dean who grabbed on and let Sam haul him to his feet. Sam’s legs ached from sitting with them dangling over the wall as he stood rubbing his upper thighs he gave the sea one last look, suddenly he felt Dean’s arms around him pulling him close to him. It took him by surprise but he soon melted into the warmth that was Dean.

 

“I’m gonna say this once Sam, that letter was the best I’ve ever received.”

 

Sam pulled away a little and looked at Dean raising his eyebrows a little.

 

“Be honest Dean that’s the first letter you’ve ever received.”

 

Dean grinned at him and keeping one arm around Sam they walked back onto the street.

 

“I suppose it is still it was a nice letter.”

 

“And you call me the girl.”

 

“Shut it Sam or there’ll be no more fun in bed at this rate.”

 

Sam laughed and they headed across the road and back to the motel. Bumping shoulders and teasing each other as they went, to an outsider they looked like any other couple of guys just shooting the breeze nothing more. Something grey in the shadows watched them quietly, it had taken a long time to track them down and the shadowy figure was in no hurry to make itself known it had bided it’s time. It was patient it could wait a little longer.


	7. Chapter 7 - The Ulterior Motive

  
Author's notes: This is kind of running away with me at the moment, it's definitely a bit more angsty and I think my deranged mind has other ideas too. My muse isn't behaving, but then again it never does, so its all her fault. Enjoy.....  


* * *

The shadowy figure slipped unseen from his vantage point and glided across the road; unseen and unheard he takes the steps leading up to the first floor where Sam and Dean have their room. He stops outside the door and listens, his hearing is acute and he can hear everything from a soft whisper to a pin dropping. He hears movement and the TV being switched on but no speaking, he can hear the two occupants breathing but nothing more. 

 

He leans towards the heavy door and concentrates hard, picking up the tentative thud of a heart beat, and soft rustle of movement of Dean crossing his legs at the ankles, but no speech. He’s annoyed he can’t read minds or this would be so much simpler so much easier and quicker, he hates being around humans they have a tendency to be nosy and obnoxious. These two humans however, are a source of fascination to him he’s never met any of their kind before, heard about them yes, but never come face to face with them. Hunters and all the baggage they bring with them, as in guilt, betrayal and a short life is part and parcel of their lifestyle and plus it’s their choice. He muses, as a cruel smile appears on his face, if anyone will miss these two, will they just become nameless faceless unknowns in a graveyard. He dearly hopes so. For now however, he seriously needs to be looking directly at them.

 

He cannot move through walls, he cannot open doors as he technically has no substance. He is after all a ghost, a shadowy figure, something seen in the corner of your eye, something you may think you imagined nothing more. He’s not by definition cruel or heartless but he has a purpose and that is to get the two occupants of the room he is hovering outside to notice him. Advise them to get away and go to a determined place at a signified time and await further instructions, then they will be dealt with appropriately he has no concept of what that means, but he can guess. He’s been around for a long time, scaring humans half to death taking on the guise of witches, werewolves, and vampires anything that frightened humans basically. He cared little for the guises he took on, they meant nothing to him, he actually cared even less about the humans he terrorised, and they have no concept of the darker side of existence except for these two.

 

His cruel smile appears again as he moves up and over the motel roof, he will be waiting patiently…..

 

Dean clicks the TV over several times before he notices Sam lying on his side looking at him, Dean knows the look very well. Dean leaves whatever programme is on and the TV is just background noise, there is no need to speak, actually words aren’t needed, body language and Sam’s eyes are doing all the talking. Sam’s eyes have taken on a deeper colour and the pupils have dilated so much so that the iris isn’t visible just a small trace of a ring on the outer edge. Sam looks really beautiful not that Dean would ever say that out loud but its okay to think it, he turns his head slightly and regards his brother, their eyes locking, still no words.

 

As the TV warbles on in the background, Sam breaks the silence.

 

“I want you.” He says huskily.

 

“Not now Sam, I can’t …”Dean begins.

 

“Not like that Dean, we’ve already been through that remember? I just want to be with you share whatever happens, whatever you’re comfortable with.”

 

“Okay geek boy.” Dean slides gracefully down the bed keeping eye contact with Sam all the time.

 

“Thanks for the name calling Dean.”

 

“S’okay it’s a term of endearment what would you prefer, darling?”

 

“Call me that and I’ll set fire to you.”

 

Dean laughed and nervously touched Sam’s chest feeling the smooth skin beneath his shirt, his fingers caressing softly moving up his chest to his neck then pulling Sam closer and kissing him. Lips tingling as they touched, tongues softly stroking, searching, mouths opening as they deepened the kiss their hands touching each other. Sam slid his hands down Dean’s body taking advantage of his height and flipped him over on to his back, Dean just moaned in return, liking the feel of the weight of his brother pushing him into the mattress. 

 

Neither were aware of the shadowy figure moving away across the roof tops and disappearing, neither aware of what would happen. 

 

Sam kissed Dean hard and removed his own shirt before relieving Dean of his tee, they lay chest to chest breathing hard and exploring with hands each other’s taught burning flesh. Sam’s felt on fire being with Dean, this wasn’t anything like he felt when he’d been with Jess or even Ruby, both of those relationships melted into insignificance compared to how he felt now. He tingled from head to foot and felt truly alive when he was pushed hard against Dean, feeling the movement of his muscles in his back, enjoying the harsh breathing and soft mumblings. Dean obviously unaware he was whispering softly to Sam.

 

Sam’s jeans and underwear suddenly felt seven sizes too small and his need to be free of them was paramount. He stripped himself and lay back down with Dean, for his part Dean never said a word and if anything his eyes widened slightly making Sam smile. Dean reached over to the TV remote and turned off what ever garbage was on there. After turning off the bedside light he removed his own jeans and underwear and pushed himself up against Sam. More kissing and Sam’s large hand encompassing his cock was enough to push Dean to the brink, then when Sam brought his own cock into play then Dean nearly lost motor function. His brain turned to sloppy mush and all he could think of was the heat and friction as Sam’s hand moved up and down their cocks, his body rocking gently into Sam’s hand.

 

Sam’s hips stuttered and his hand increased in pressure, Dean’s release was only moments away as he felt Sam’s breathing rapidly increase and his moans grew louder until peaking and then slowing and stopping. By this time Dean had come, listening to Sam and feeling him moving so close to him was enough to send him into oblivion and beyond. Dean shook slightly as he came down from his high the endorphins running through his system giving him a sense of calm and peace.

 

Sam smiled through the darkness at Dean and they lay down not caring about the mess between them, eyes closing as they sought out sleep entwined around each other like ivy up a tree.

 

This would be the last time they share this closeness for a long time, but neither man knew this, if they had they would have gotten into the car and driven for a long time not stopping. Then again if either brother had a premonition of what was about to go down it was likely they would have stopped anyway a fight was always good.

 

The following morning Sam awoke to an empty bed and a note stuck under his cheek, trust Dean to be a smart arse and place it there, no doubt he’d have ink on his face. The note taken from the stationery in the drawer under the television simply read.

 

Be back in 10, gone for coffee.

 

Sam had no idea what time Dean had gone out so he took the opportunity to go peel the stuff dried onto his belly off, and have a shower. After he’d showered, dressed and pretty much packed up he realised Dean had been gone a long time, longer than he had expected. The coffee shop was only across the car park and next to the diner they’d been using. After a further hour Sam was panicking slightly, this wasn’t like Dean at all, if he said he’d be back in ten minutes he was usually back in that time, not for a long time had he been distracted. Then again knowing Dean he was probably fishing for something, and free coffee wasn’t it, perhaps a woman was involved. Sam shook the thought from his head and went to check on the car. With his spare set of keys he opened the trunk of the Impala and put his bag inside that was when he noticed Dean’s keys lying by the driver’s side rear wheel. Glancing around Sam looked for Dean, seeing nothing but holiday makers, aching panic rising in his chest and he searched about for Dean, calling Dean’s name loudly enough to attract the disgruntled stares off strangers walking by.

 

Heading towards the diner Sam saw two cups of coffee on the floor, and a blood trail, not much blood but enough for Sam to know it was Dean’s. As Sam turned he was face to face with a pale stranger, his skin almost grey. Colourless eyes looked at him as he felt the dawning realisation that Dean had been taken for just this purpose, to get Sam’s attention. Okay so Sam’s attention was well and truly gotten now, what did this thing want.

“Hello Sam” the stranger said, the same creature that had been stalking them the night before only now he had the form of a ghostly apparition.

 

“Where’s my brother?”

 

“Safe.”

 

“Safe?” Sam huffed and indicated the blood on the floor and the upturned cups.

 

“Well he struggled what else can I say, he didn’t want to go peacefully.”

 

“Again where’s my brother?”

 

“I say again Sam, he’s safe. For the time being at least, but we want you to meet him it’s important that you do this or well, things could get nasty.”

 

“Where?” Sam said tightly looking at the creature, if it had more time it would have liked to have gotten to know Sam a little better. Infesting his body and making him do things he wouldn’t normally have done, that could have been an interesting scenario, watching Sam throw himself off a cliff. That would have to wait, another time maybe.

 

“Hodgeson in Nevada, it’s on the map but a little remote, so hurry.” With that the creature disappeared. 

 

Sam felt the freezing chill on his arm and the hairs stood up on end, the atmosphere around him crackled and his instincts kicked in as he realised he needed to look up the thing he’d just seen. It was doubtful any of the people walking past him has seen the “thing” more than likely they thought Sam was off his head on drugs talking to himself in a car park.

 

Heading back to the motel room he quickly packed up Dean’s stuff, grateful he’d had enough time to do some laundry. Shoving everything unceremoniously into the Impala he settled in the driver’s seat after dropping off the key at the front desk, and looked up the shadowy figure he’d seen.

 

Shadow people were usually figures seen on the apex of sleep and rarely face to face, Sam was either lucky or damned, he doubted luck had anything to do with this. This creature was either a warning or the Winchester’s were in serious trouble, yet again.

 

Sam closed his lap top and started up the car, he knew if he drove like a mad man he could be there by the following morning or earlier, but not wishing to risk a speeding ticket or being caught without the necessary documents he chose the take it easy. His heart thudded in his chest until he reached the interstate which took him out of California and towards Nevada, he felt no easier when he stopped for petrol and refreshments and was positively boiling with anger the closer he got to his destination. Why had he been told to go to some town that wasn’t marked on any map, hadn’t been lived in since the early 1920’s, and wasn’t lived in at all right now. He only assumed some Demon was after revenge and wanted Sam and Dean together. He stopped himself from thinking the worst that Dean had already been dealt with and it was his turn next. He hoped that Dean hadn’t put up too much of a struggle but knowing Dean that wasn’t a hopeful possibility, he knew Dean only too well and he wouldn’t appreciate being abducted in broad daylight.

 

 

As Sam drove, Dean was just coming out of a drug induced sleep, his head felt thick and his tongue felt like it had been stapled to a wall for several weeks. His eyes stung viciously and his hair felt wet, gingerly touching his scalp he felt blood and when he looked at his fingers they were slick with it. He let out a groan as he moved on a dust floor covered in broken furniture and other objects, no one had been in to clean house in a while. Dean knew a couple of ribs were cracked and from the searing pain in his shoulder he knew that was out too, all in all a fantastic start to a day.

 

Dean lay cautiously on the dirty covered floor until he found a position which was reasonably comfortable, his side ached and the dull nauseous feeling ebbed slightly as his head cleared. He remembered getting coffee from the diner and remembered someone stopping him, then the sharp scratch on his neck and nothing else. No wonder his head felt like clay, obviously the drug used was fast acting and Dean had obviously hit his head as he fell. No one could have seen it or he wouldn’t be here unceremoniously thrown on a dirty floor, he wondered who or what was behind all this and if Sam was okay.

 

His worry for Sam increased as he closed his eyes; he knew the closeness of their relationship was heightening his anxiety.

 

Semi conscious he felt the presence of another being in the room, it touched his face with icy fingers and a laugh could be heard. Dean was never sure if the “thing” was toying with him out of revenge or another motive.

 

“Poor Dean” it murmured softly so close he could feel the icy cold emitting from it “so worried about your brother.”

 

“Brother… leave…” Dean’s voice gave out on him as he felt pressure on his chest and dull pain in his neck, head and back.

 

“Oh no Dean, can’t leave Sam out of this, he’s part of the plan” the creature softly whispered, then it was gone leaving Dean groaning in pain. Dean slipped into inky darkness whispering Sam’s name as he slid under.

 

 

A little after three in the afternoon Sam parked the car on the edge of the sun worn town and walked the short distance to the main road if you could have called it that. Sam gazed about looking at the bleached boards on the sides of the greyed out buildings, faded signs of long ago stores and premises. There was the obligatory watering hole which Sam assumed many a resident had taken up a seat and drank themselves into oblivion; right now Sam needed a drink. His panic hadn’t lessened any and if anything his anger had increased, Sam knew if he was too angry he’d make mistakes so he took the few minutes to walk to his destination to calm down. By the time he made it to what was left of a hardware store he was sufficiently calm or at least outwardly he appeared calm. Inside Sam was in turmoil, his fear and worry increasing by each step, his face was set like stone as he pushed the squeaky door open and could see Dean on the floor.

 

Seeing his brother crumpled on the ground got Sam moving, striding across the dirty floor to Dean’s side, his need to check on Dean the highest priority.

 

“Dean” Sam said carefully as he dropped to his brother’s side and carefully turned him over.

 

Damn it Dean was in a mess, blood all over his hair and down his face, he had marks and bruises all over his neck and his shoulder was at a weird angle. Dean groaned opened his eyes to look up at Sam, he looked lost and far away his lips were cracked and dry and for someone who’d only been here for less than twenty four hours he looked bad.

 

“Sam” came the whisper “trap…get out” Sam frowned down at his brother, turned slightly to see a figure holding something resembling a bat last thing Sam remembered was pain in his head and then blackness. 

 

Sam dropped unconscious next to Dean who whimpered, the form that had hit Sam hovered over the brothers and smiled to herself. Her plan was working she was pleased, revenge would be sweet, revenge for her father, brother and sister; she was the youngest of the yellow eyed demons offspring. Oh yes revenge would be the sweetest thing ever, after she’d played with these two for a while, like a cat with a mouse, she licked her lips and regarded the two men in front of her.

 

The body she was housed in borrowed or whatever else you liked to call it, was a struggle to keep together, it obviously didn’t want to be possessed. She’d found her in a hospital, strapped up to machines, she was easy so easy to possess, but staying in her feisty form wasn’t that easy. She shifted away from Sam and Dean leaving them where they were for the time being, she needed to sort this human out first, didn’t want it struggling whilst she was remonstrating with the Winchester’s. A few thoughts on were she could end up if she didn’t stop struggling was effective obviously the girl came from a religious background so she was easy to scare into behaving. Turning and leaving the room after her host had calmed down, she went to deal with the shadow creature, she wasn’t overly keen on using such beings but it was the only thing available. 

 

Shadow creatures liked rewards; they collected stuff like magpies the shinier the better. This one had a penchant for souls of the young, and kept them close, perhaps as a reminder of its once human life who could tell. Shadow creatures were more observers than anything else and this one had found out recently it could make itself seen by those it wished to see him. How vain she thought idly as she sat and waited for it to re-appear, how completely human, she smiled twirling her fingers through her long fair hair.

 

The human she was possessing was called Veronica she had been a vivacious happy child from a good Christian background, but on her way home from Senior High School she’d been in an accident one which had sent her head first into an oncoming car. After several operations and countless hours of worry for her parents she’d vanished, knowing she couldn’t have gotten far on her own the police had assumed she’d been abducted but to what purpose they couldn’t say. There had been several similar cases recently, young people in hospital vanishing with no CCTV footage very baffling and worrying for the families concerned. 

 

The shadow creature appeared floating slightly off the floor and regarding the Demon quietly wondering if she knew he was here. Her head turned and she looked at him, her eyes blacker than night, lifeless and so alien to him. The soul of the creature she was inhabiting now was of no use to him she was too old, he preferred the souls younger more malleable easier to control less likely to escape. The last one he’d had for several decades keeping it close, lying to it, before it got wise and got away, since then he’d been on his own now he needed something more perhaps two.

 

Veronica didn’t smile at him, but she promised him two souls as payment so satisfied he left he’d be back to collect his reward later for the time being he was content.

 

Sam moves on the floor and coughs sending up puffs of dust, his head aches dully his limbs feel like jelly and his back is aching from lying at an odd angle for hours. Dean by the looks of him is either still out cold or sleeping; Sam pushes himself up on his elbows and groggily begins checking Dean out, no wounds other than the cut on his head, the bruises and his dislocated shoulder. Other than all that Dean is physically acceptable, it’s odd that he’s unconscious though until Sam notices the small needle puncture wound on the side of Dean’s neck, someone had obviously used a tranquilliser on Dean. Dean without tranquillisers is a dangerous animal, and someone knows that all too well. Sam sits up and leans against the outer wall of the building and notices all the doors have the door handles removed and the window is blocked out leaving only chinks of light coming from knots in the old boards. It’s daylight outside and Sam has no idea how long they’ve been in here and for a moment he can’t remember where here is, his head is killing him now, throbbing mercilessly against his temple.

 

The door swung open and there stood a youngish looking woman no more than nineteen, she smiled amiably at them the moved quietly across the floor towards them.

 

“Lady let us out please” Sam said in a hoarse whisper, glancing at Dean as he spoke.

 

“I don’t think so Sam, were here to play” Veronica said sharply bending down beside Sam, he felt her hand touching his face softly then a sharp nick in his neck and all his limbs went dead on him. Christ he thought to himself I can’t move, his head lolled back against the outer wall with a dull thud and Veronica gave him a swift smile before turning her attention to Dean.

 

Another needle was placed in his neck and he groan softly as she withdrew it slowly.

 

“He’ll be coming around soon Sam and he’ll be mighty pissed off.” She pulled out some bindings and managed to drag Dean into a sitting position, shoving him forward so his forehead touched his knees, then she turned Sam around so they were sitting back to back and proceeded to bind them with plastic lock strips. Once her job was done she lifted Sam’s head by is hair and smiled down at him.

 

“So nice to finally meet you Sam, it’s been a long time coming and I am going to enjoy this so much.”

 

“Who are you?” Sam asked his throat feeling like it was constricting all the time he was looking at her.

 

“Well this body is called Veronica and I rather like the name so I’m sticking with it.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Oh Sam there’ll be time for niceties later on for now just rest… you’ll need it believe me” she quickly got up and left the room leaving Sam with the weight of Dean leaning heavily into him. Sam could feel him moving as consciousness gradually sought its way through Dean’s body, even though Sam couldn’t move himself he could still feel.

 

Sam closed his eyes for a moment his head felt like cotton wool and his mouth was hurting now, and his head still killed like a bitch. What the hell did Veronica want with them, and what on earth was she on about enjoying this so much, his mind quickly well as quickly as it could tried to work out what she was talking about. His eyes shut and before long his train of thought was lost in dreams, a dull aching dream about Jess and her at a party given by friends several weeks before her death. How lovely she looked on that evening, then suddenly he was with Dean in a bar and Dean was being chatted up by some faceless girl behind the bar, promising a phone call and a “bit of fun later” Dean returned to Sam and told him to wake up.

 

“Sam” the voice sounded distant, a hollow echo.

 

“Sam” there it was again slightly louder this time and a little angrier.

 

“Sam wake the fuck up.” The nudge in his back was sufficient to bring him into the present dreams disappearing into the mist of memory. Sam’s head lolled slightly against Dean’s shoulder and he groaned.

 

“Oh thank whatever, you’re alive. Can you move Sam?” 

 

“No” Sam managed to croak out.

 

“Shit I think we’re in deep shit here.”

 

“Yeah, looks that way.”

 

Dean looked around the room desperately trying to rid his head of the fuzzy dull feeling he had at the back of his eyes and the desperate hangover like headache. His arms felt heavy and his shoulder not the one Sam was leaning on was numb and if he moved too suddenly the sharp springing stab of pain shot through him. Despite his cracked ribs he was able to breath of sorts and although it hurt he was pushing the pain as much as he could to the back of his mind and trying to ignore it.

 

No way out, no door handles and no idea where he was, Dean laid his head back against Sam’s shoulder and sighed, they were in a right mess now. Tugging on his bindings he realised he was stuck, in pain and with his brother obviously drugged things couldn’t get much worse, could they?


	8. Chapter 8 - Dead or Alive

  
Author's notes: Slightly different vein here, Dean and Sam up to their necks in it again. Demons galore (well singular Demon) weird shadow creature and an old deserted town, all adding to the flavour of things to come... read on..  


* * *

Dean felt oddly comforted with having Sam so close, usually they’d have been naked but being fully clothed was acceptable and despite some weirdo having them tied up he felt oddly safe. Dean knew it was the drugs coursing through his system giving him this artificial feeling making him feel light and warm inside he luxuriated in this blissed out high he was having. Drug induced highs weren’t a speciality of any Winchester they liked their feet firmly on the ground and their heads where they should be. This was pleasantly nice and Dean could really understand if this was high, no wonder people took drugs. Someone moving their head over his stiff shoulder half knocked him out of his blissed state and he smiled to himself, right now he could have done with Sam hard and needy and naked.

 

Dean never heard the door open and Veronica slip inside, she knew all about their sick twisted passion for each other. She looked on the scene with interest as she stood by the doorway, brothers so close it was illegal, their heads on each other shoulders, necks and throats bared to her in a tantalising way. She could have very easily cut their throats there and then and be done with it but no she wanted them to pay for what they did. Never mind that her father had instigated Sam’s fall into the depths of despair knowing he was Lucifer’s vessel, she smiled to herself in the knowledge that she’d not only be getting revenge for her family but for the fall of Lucifer back into the pit. 

 

Veronica moved around the room slowly, carefully stepping over furniture long unused and rotting her gaze never left the Winchester brothers, not once did she blink or even look where she was going. Demon’s instinct kept her with a firm footing, as she looked at her prey, so easily caught, so caught up in each other to notice they had been followed and watched for several weeks. She was prepared to wait, an eternity if necessary even if it meant she would be in hell waiting for them to arrive, it would have been worth tormenting and torturing them. Right now, however, she wanted to play, she wanted Dean or Sam, didn’t really matter which, to break uncontrollably as she slowly sucked the life out of one or the other, leaving the remaining brother alone and begging. She left as quietly as she had entered the room, the Winchester’s would wait, and they weren’t going anywhere.

 

Sam awoke first, conscious but sore, his head woolly and heavy, his eyes felt gritty, he was aware of the smell of damp earth, salt, gunpowder and Dean. He moved and felt Dean’s weight on him leaning into his back with familiar contours of his body. He knew Dean had been drugged, knew he’d either been drugged or hit over the head, yes hit over the head he remembered a figure with a bat striking him hard. He struggled a little more and could feel Dean’s arms moving as he twisted his wrists to get free, plastic ties, great they’d never move them without doing damage to their flesh.

 

Moving as far as his head would allow he hissed Dean’s name, Dean only groaned in response so he jiggled about a bit feeling Dean’s head bump unceremoniously on his shoulder. Dean muttered something incoherent and Sam continued until Dean gave a cough and a sharp cry.

 

“For love of…. My…. Crap….shoulder.”

Thankfully Dean was conscious of sorts, pissed off which was good and moaning about his shoulder which showed he was alive, Sam sighed in relief.

 

“Dean…Dean.”

 

“Yeah, yeah Sam I hear ya.”

 

“What the…”

 

“Have no idea Sam, I was…what was I doing?”

 

“Getting coffee Dean.”

 

“Yeah then something grabbed me, she was small and pretty and boy she smiled at me then all of a sudden her eyes changed and I felt something in my neck, and fell to the floor, I think.”

 

Sam huffed, trust Dean to think of sex at a time like that, he would pay for that at a later date, and he had the nerve to berate him for being with Ruby. Anyway that could wait they had more pressing matters to hand.

 

“Can you move Dean?”

 

“Don’t know haven’t tried, I think they cracked or should I say she cracked a few ribs and my shoulder is out again.”

 

“Well she’s strong then.”

 

“No shit Sherlock.”

 

“What the heck does she want Dean?”

 

“Erm, revenge.” Dean shifted his butt slightly but that didn’t ease the dizzying pain in his shoulder.

 

“Revenge, for what?”

 

“She’s a Demon’s daughter.”

 

“Oh great, just fucking great.”

 

“Sam, stop fucking swearing and try and get us out of here.”

 

“Can’t Dean she’s used plastic ties not rope.”

 

Dean sighed and looked around the mess that was their prison, nothing that could be used to lever doors open with; the wood in there was obviously rotten. As for the walls that was difficult to tell if they had anything sharp they could probably get through to the outside. With Dean’s shoulder out, movement was limited plus breathing was getting a little harder the longer he sat the way he was, and it wasn’t helping having his arms behind his back and intertwined with Sam’s. His head still felt disconnected as he struggled to shake the need to close his eyes again and drift off to sleep.

 

The Demon wasn’t there but the shadow creature was it was waiting for the souls those promised to it. It knew in its heart (if it still had one) it was going to be disappointed, something about this Demon didn’t bode well; there was something off with it. It waited in the shadow of the building until the sun went down and then slipped in to the empty house through a crack in the outer woodwork and moved around the rooms it could gain access to. It was aware of the Winchester’s it could sense their presence and the danger they were in, it could sense they were in pain and hurt bad. None of this affected the shadow creature one way or another it had long ago forgotten what compassion was, it had forgotten about love and all it thought about now was possessing young souls. Souls similar to its own daughter long ago lost, so many years had passed and although the shadow creature had no idea, it had forgotten about its human form and its daughter. To compensate for the loss it had taken to keeping the souls from going to their final destination in an attempt to ease the emptiness, forgetting the reason why as the years past into centuries.

 

Its bitch ass painful sitting on a dirty floor covered in debris, and when you’re tied up to your brother like a spit roast pig, waiting for whatever to happen. When your shoulder hurts with sharp stabs of pain every time you move and your ribs feel like they’ve caved in when you breathe, other than that and between waves of nausea Dean felt pretty average considering. He knows Sam is conscious he can hear his level breathing next to him can feel him move on the odd occasion, hell if Dean’s uncomfortable with Sam’s extra inches he must be in agony. Dean thinks for a moment wondering whether things will change if or when they get out of this little predicament they’re in, if he’ll be prepared to give Sam what he needs and wants from him. Whether he’ll be able to give Sam what he needs and wants, Dean is basically worried that he’ll disappoint Sam. Dean’s been so used to taking what he wants and not caring if the other party is satisfied but with Sam it will be different he can’t afford to be so flippant or off hand.

 

Dean sits leaning heavily on Sam feeling yet another wave of nausea wash over him and he knows if he’d have eaten before all this he’d be vomiting right now. That’s pain for you one hell of a bitch when it gets to grips on you, one hell of a mother. Amongst all his other problems Dean had a headache, just a dull grind in the back of his neck, brought on more than likely by the angle he’s sitting and the tension he feels when he thinks too much.

 

 

Veronica makes it back to the small building sensing the shadow creature is near, she’ll give it what it wants, well almost what it wants and send it on its way. Then she’ll be free to play with the Winchesters and not in a nice pleasant childlike way, no she’s got plans for these two, she’s thought about revenge so much it’s burning hard at her and she’s going to get retribution one way or another.

 

The shadow creature greedily accepted the two souls she offered it; clutching them close to it they squirmed a little to begin with then settled into its form. Satisfied it disappeared and Veronica set about preparing herself for her nights work.

 

“Sam”

 

“Yeah Dean.”

 

“Good you’re awake.”

 

“Just about.”

 

“How you doin’?”

 

“Just peachy.”

 

Dean chose that moment to move his leg and the sharp stab of pain cascaded down his body causing him to groan softly.

 

“Yeah right.”

 

Sam sounded as sarcastic as usual but refrained from saying much else as hollow footsteps could be heard outside the door, Sam instantly feigned unconsciousness and Dean followed suit. 

 

“Now, now boys I know you’re awake.” Veronica stepped into the room locked the door and headed carefully over to where her prey sat uncomfortably on the floor.

 

Bending down beside them she touched Sam softly on the face, his eyes opened in surprise she was cold, icy fingers making him shiver involuntarily. She smiled at him then turned her attention to Dean, who didn’t take kindly being touched by her.

 

Veronica smiled a little more and didn’t notice that although she’d locked the door it hadn’t caught in the mechanism and was gently opening, Sam watched in silent fascination seeing it as a way out. She was crouched down besides Dean now carefully looking at him she wanted him before she took out her revenge, she liked the way he looked he was a handsome man. She wasn’t totally devoid of feelings and desire spiked in her human form, how fitting that this religious idiot child she inhabited should lose her virginity to a man like Dean. Smiling she straddled his hips and ground her groin into his, a little disappointed that he showed no sign of returning her ardour, no matter he wouldn’t be in a position to protest or resist her shortly.

 

Her lips hovered over his sensing the life force rushing through him, inviting her in, tempting her, tasting him she pushed her lips hard against his and continued to rub her body against his.

 

When she broke the kiss Dean looked at her with a mixture of disgust and amusement, she wasn’t happy, and not pleased he was immune to her sexual presence. 

 

“Smile all you like Dean, one way or another you’ll be mine at least for a little while.”

 

Dean spat the remnants of her kiss onto the floor and looked at her carefully.

 

“Not this side of hell freezing over sister.” His voice sarcastic and low.

 

Sam chuckled softly to himself the rumblings of his laugh reverberating through Dean, Veronica’s eyes swiftly switched to Sam.

 

“You leave him be.” Dean admonished loudly.

 

“Tut, tut Dean, you want him all to yourself don’t you? You want to play with your brother.” She laughed as she slipped over the floor gracefully and turned her attention to the unhurt, physically bigger and more dangerous of the brothers. Oh yes Dean was dangerous but not as much as Sam, Sam had hidden talents which he’d only scratched the surface of during his time with Ruby. Dean was the killer, cold, hard and nasty on a dark night but Sam, well Sam was something entirely different and although it was appealing it also scared her. She sat straddled over his legs and began the same sort of movements she had for a moment with Dean.

 

“Get off him you bitch.” Dean yelled angrily sending shooting sparks of pain and nausea through his system, breathing hurt like hell now and he wanted nothing better than to lie down for a week and sleep.

 

He heard Sam groan at the back of him, this wasn’t how things should have gone; the Demon bitch should have had Dean not his little brother. Dean wriggled despite the searing pain 

 

“Oh Sammy” she cooed at him “I never thought you’d be interested, and so quickly too, doesn’t you’re brother satisfy you.”

 

“Satisfies me just fine” Sam said mutely his voice low deep and dangerous. “I don’t like being ridden by demon bitches, been there, seen that don’t want to go down that path again.” Sam shook her hands off his face and leaned back against Dean, the closeness and movement telling him Sam was fully in control of the situation.

 

Veronica’s smile faltered for a moment until she took stock of the situation and realised breaking these two would be harder and probably more fun.

 

“How about” she whispered close to Sam’s ear but loud enough for Dean to hear “I take you, do as I please and save your brother?”

 

“What?” That spiked Sam’s interest; he looked at her blackened eyes intently.

 

Suddenly she shivered, and removed herself from Sam’s body, that damn girl was playing up again trying in vain to remove her with her screeching and yelling. Veronica put the palms of her hands against her temples and murmured something that neither Sam nor Dean could quite make out. Then she returned to Dean ignoring Sam for the time being.

 

“How about,” she said quietly her hands resting on Dean’s shoulders making him wince softly “I take what I want from both of you then kill you?” She smiled at Dean softly her human blue eyes looking at him carefully. He stared back at the innocence that hovered on the surface of the face and behind the eyes, this human form was giving the Demon a run for her money and Dean hoped she was successful. Veronica’s eyes quickly went black, and she smiled the smile of one who was about to take vengeance.

 

“Like ‘em young Dean? Or is that just your brother you like?” She chuckled at her own humour.

 

Dean remained tight lipped clenching and unclenching his jaw, keeping eye contact with the bitch in front of him. 

 

“Ooo I see I hit a nerve there, well, well we are touchy about your brother aren’t we, so they were right about you two then.” Dean simply quirked an eyebrow at her but remained silent. “You two as lovers, how positively 21st Century of you, such deviant behaviour warrants a visit to hell don’t you think?”

 

Dean’s eyebrows remained raised as he listened to her talking, or half listening, he was in considerable pain but wouldn’t under any circumstance give her the satisfaction of knowing just how much he was in. He could feel her fingers digging into flesh as she slid her body over his nibbling the skin on his neck. Under normal circumstances this would have been halfway decent but right now Dean was in no mood for foreplay, especially with a bitch with a vendetta. He curled his fingers through Sam’s and squeezed them, Sam squeezed back, either Dean was thinking of a plan or desperately trying not to let this bitch enjoy herself too much.

 

A window shutter clattered somewhere in the building, but Veronica didn’t hear it, if she had she would and should have been alerted to the danger. Her desire to reek vengeance on the Winchester’s far outweighed the need for caution and she had doubled crossed the Shadow Creature. Her thinking that some demon spawn would suffice was greatly under estimated and it was now seeking her out filled with rage. It silently swept through the building and found a way into the room, seeing her straddled over one of the two men it had lured to her earlier; it took its chance and swooped down.

 

The last thing the demon possessing Veronica remembered was a pain in her chest as a shadow passed over the darkened room and through the body of the innocent she infested. A high pitched squeal echoed through the air and the young woman fell to the floor over Dean’s legs, passed out from exhaustively trying to break free for months. Dean’s shoulder throbbed incessantly and he lost consciousness for a couple of minutes before Sam’s beloved voice brought him back to reality once more and their complex situation.

 

Sam had watched as the Shadow creature ripped the demon into pieces before it burst into green flames and disappeared leaving a burnt sulphurous smell behind. Tendrils of smoke and foul smell woke Dean fully, now they were well and truly stuck, both men tied back to back with a young woman over Dean’s legs. He moved his left leg hoping the woman would wake up but she just laid there her hair covering her face, her limbs heavy, out cold by the looks of things.

 

Dean tried hard to squash his hand as small as it could get, folding his thumb across his palm and trying to ease the plastic tie over his hand with the finger tips of his other hand.

He succeeded much to his own and Sam’s surprise, although it hurt like he was being cut in two by a chain saw he managed to keep conscious whilst he twisted the plastic tie off his other wrist, grabbed Sam’s knife hidden by his ankle and cut Sam’s bindings.

 

Now they were free and not wishing to stay around for the Shadow Creature they set about standing up, grabbing the girl over Dean’s legs and high tailing it away from this long forgotten town and back to civilisation. Once in the car Sam drove Dean was in no condition whatsoever to even handle a car and needed medical attention which he refused absolutely and on pain of death should Sam consider even going near a hospital. Sam was on the verge of actually finding out a hospital but the young woman on the back seat was more of a worry, how on earth would they explain her being with them. Moreover who in their right mind would believe them, no for now Sam needed to find a motel, cheaper the better, book a room and then think carefully what to do.


	9. Chapter 9 - Nothing Else Matters

  
Author's notes: NC17 with bells on, I hope.  


* * *

Sam drove like a maniac, with Dean asleep beside him his head lolling from side to side and the girl in the back seat, it was easier to drive wildly. He’d covered around 90 miles with the sun arcing overhead towards sunset, when he set about looking for a motel finding one by a gas station and convenience store. It proudly announced that it was the last or the first depending on which direction you were coming from before some historic site. Sam cared little about the historic sites or the promises on the front of the bill board about the air con and pool, he swung the car towards the reception, getting out leaving the two other occupants either sleeping or unconscious. Once a room was got he reversed the car and headed towards their available room, the orange glow from the sunset being the only warmth Sam felt. The dusty smell from the desert surrounded him as he lifted the girl out of the back seat and deposited her on the spare bed; turning his attention to his brother he wondered how Dean would feel at being carried in the same manner. A small smile appeared on his face as he could imagine the bitching Dean would give him if he did that. 

 

Once Dean was in the room and on the bed by the door Sam set about doing what he was good at, tending to injuries, the main one being Dean’s shoulder. Sam had at various times put it back into place over the years. Setting the pressure against his brother’s body correctly he manipulated the limb until he felt a click then pulled and pushed until it popped into place. Dean’s only acknowledgement to this was a soft moan then he was out again. With Dean settled Sam turned his attention to Veronica the poor girl was mighty thin and would be as confused as hell when and if she regained consciousness. He cleaned the dirt off her face and hands tended the cuts on her feet but didn’t remove clothing, guessing she wouldn’t appreciate a stranger seeing her naked.

 

Sam then left the room and found some food he’d forgotten how hungry he was, he spent the money he had in his wallet on food and some medical supplies. The girl at the checkout never took her eyes off a cheesy magazine she was reading even when she took the cash from Sam. Her constant chewing grated on Sam’s nerves and he had the distinct urge to slap her around the back of head, but good manners purveyed and he just took the change and left with the bag securely tucked under his arm. 

 

Stepping back into the room he was relieved that neither of his charges had moved, so he made coffee for himself in the complimentary coffee maker and sat to keep vigil over the two people in front of him. One he loved more than anything and the other was a stranger; at that moment nothing else mattered except the safety of his brother even the stranger could have gone by the way side.

 

-0-

 

Sam moved on the chair he looked uncomfortable and Dean had the desire to go get him and drag him to the bed so he could sleep. Dean would have done this until he remembered why Sam was in the chair and the events previously, he shuddered softly as he sat up still in the clothes he was wearing the day before. He felt decidedly dirty and violated, that demon left a taste he couldn’t quite get rid of, they all did. He often wondered how Sam managed not to gag when he was around Ruby, then again she was deceitful and a bitch to boot. Sitting up turned out to be a little harder than he had envisaged with his vision blurring a little as the pain from cracked ribs cascaded down his body, waves of nausea flooding him. His groan woke Sam who stiffly moved off the chair and was at Dean’s side in an instant concern etched across his face.

 

“Dean just lie still for a moment, you need the rest.”

 

“I know Sammy, but need to take a leak.”

 

“Oh okay, want any help?”

 

Dean’s eyes widened, he shook his head and smiled leaning into Sam.

 

“Not right now Sam, think I can pee by myself but I’ll give you a shout if I need to shake a bit harder.”

 

Dean chuckled as he slowly made his way to the bathroom, leaving a smiling Sam watching his back as he walked. Veronica chose that moment to wake up, slowly moving her feet and looking at the wall in utter confusion, she was herself again finally.

 

Her head shot round hair tangled in her mouth she coughed and looked directly at Sam; he looked back, preparing himself for hysterics. She slowly sat up and whipped her head around towards the bathroom when she heard the water running, Sam hoped to god it was water and not Dean pissing, the girl was traumatised enough.

 

She coughed again, looked at Sam and asked for water, Sam got up went to the bathroom nudged Dean softly and whispered that Veronica was awake, grabbing a glass off the side he filled it with cold water and headed back to her. She sat with her knees pulled up under her chin and hugging her legs rocking slowly backwards and forwards. Sam put the glass down beside her and sat on the bed opposite. She looked up at him as he put the glass down and made a grab for it before he’d even sat, she drained the glass and replaced it as he watched her carefully. She coughed again and smiled weakly.

 

“Thank you Sam.” She said simply.

 

“You know me? I mean you know my name?” Sam asked softly.

 

“Of course I do, I remember a lot of things from when that was in me.” She shuddered softly and hugged her knees a little more when Dean appeared round the side of the bathroom and walked carefully over to where Sam was.

 

“How you feeling Veronica?” Dean asked her.

 

“Sore like I was trampled on by a herd of wild horses. I am so sorry for what I did to you, to both of you; it wasn’t me I promise I’d never do anything like that.” She looked panicked and ready to run; she was still very scared and didn’t really know why these two men were here or even where here was.

 

Sam got her some more water and she asked if she could take a bath, Sam ran the water as bending for Dean was almost impossible and the fresh bruising on his ribs were making him feel grumpy. She disappeared into the bathroom and stripped slowly stepping into the water it felt like heaven, she couldn’t remember the last time when having a bath was so delicious. She sat washing with the small bar of soap feeling odd that she knew so much about the two men in the room in front of her. She wasn’t afraid of them, without them she’d be dead now just another husk for that creature to inhabit and use. She had just been fodder to it nothing more and it had taken delight in tormenting her and her beliefs, she’d put up a fight, she knew that.

 

Now all Veronica wanted to do was go home if that was possible but it had been such a long time since she’d been taken she wondered if it was at all possible after so much time. She hoped her family missed her and wanted her back but she was sensible enough to realise that there would be whispering about her disappearance and reappearance and there would be cruel gossip, there always was. 

 

Tolerance was always advocated by her religion but it was never actually given, odd really since she’d been taught to be tolerant of everyone. She knew more about the two Winchesters and their “love” for each other and the inner battles they were both having. She wished she could say something but she was way too shy to say anything about something so private and personal.

 

Sam looked at Dean, and Dean examined the carpet slowly, he was at a loss with what to do with the girl in the bathroom and whether it was in their best interests to take her home. She would have an awful lot of explaining to do and so would they.

 

“Dean we can’t take her home you know that don’t you?”

 

“I know Sam but it’s not fair is it?”

 

“No it’s not but it’s too dangerous for us to do that, too many questions.”

 

“Sam it all depends on what she wants to do not for us to tell her.”

 

“I know. So how you feeling?”

 

“Like I was hit by a cement truck, you?”

 

“Like shit.”

 

“No change then.”

 

Sam laughed, Veronica heard his laugh as she dried herself and put on clothes that Sam had left on the side for her they were way too big but they covered her modesty up and she was grateful for it.

 

She exited the bathroom and noted that both men looked towards her as made her way to sit on the end of the bed she’d occupied. Sam offered her some freshly made coffee and a donut she ate quietly and surveyed the dull little room they were in, sipping coffee she so wanted to ask questions but couldn’t pluck up the courage to speak. Her silence worried Dean he was used to women talking his ears off about themselves this one was certainly different, small and quiet. Sam lent forward and spoke to her in a soft gentle voice, Dean loved that about Sam he was a huge giant of a man but he could be so soft and gentle at times, it made Deans stomach flutter.

 

“Veronica can you remember much about what happened?”

 

“Yes quite a bit.”

 

“Can you tell us please?”

 

“What do you want to know?”

 

“As much as possible” Dean asked quietly keeping his voice as level and quiet as Sam’s.

 

She began by saying she’d been on her way home but she couldn’t remember where she’d been. It had just literally jumped her and before she could stop herself she’d dropped some books or what ever it was she’d been holding and was walking off down the street. She said she remembered little bits and pieces of incidents but nothing major, she remembered stealing a car, killing a man by running him over, colouring her hair and having sex with someone she’d never met before. All the time the creature inside her was making comments at her and telling her she’d rot in hell; her god had forsaken her and all that sort of thing. Veronica had been very afraid to begin with but she realised that the demon in her was the one who was afraid it was fearful of meeting the Winchesters that was why she struggled when she did, hoping that they would free themselves, she had no idea she’d dislocated Dean’s shoulder or broken some of his ribs and she was near tears when she realised her actions had caused that.

 

“It’s not your fault Veronica” Dean said moving to sit beside her “Demons have a nasty habit of controlling you, making you do stuff you’d never do normally.”

 

“It’s what they do, control then disappear when the going gets tough.” Sam added.

 

Veronica nodded her head and said she didn’t want to be taken home not yet; she needed time to think of how to explain this to her family without them being suspicious. She did say she didn’t think they’d welcome her back with open arms which surprised Sam and he felt bad for this poor girl who’d definitely not asked for all this. In a lot of things she was innocent but in many others she was beyond her years, and held it together quite well. She asked that they dropped her off at a Church meeting hall in a small town called San Marcos; they did as asked and were welcomed by the priest there who knew her well. 

 

After some convincing she said she’d been recruited by a sect, had thought it was exciting and new then realised what a mistake she’d made, freeing herself and hitchhiking. She said Sam and Dean had stopped to give her a lift and she’d asked them to drop her off here. The priest seemed to buy it, but did look at Sam and Dean a little oddly, especially with all the bruises on them. 

 

With a promise to visit Veronica, they left her at the church and headed southwards, the few days of fun long over and work required to get over the lack of vigilance on Deans part. He always seemed to blame himself if something went wrong even if he could have his defences up all the time, if something did slip in under the radar he was the first to rage at himself. Sam was a little fed up by the time they were on the outskirts of Vegas he was ready to strangle Dean and what with Veronica and the Demon and the Shadow creature it was too much and he yelled at Dean to stop the car.

 

Before it had come to a complete stop Sam was out striding away and heading back the way they came. As Dean got out of the car with a sigh he was really pissed off with Sam, he was the one who gotten banged up not Sam, Sam had managed to get out virtually unscathed, so what was up his butt right now.

 

Sam turned on his heals and headed back towards Dean, Dean stood his ground.

 

“You know Dean your gripping is getting on my nerves, it’s always about you isn’t it, always has to be your problem, your concern and never anyone else’s. You always have to take the blame for everything.”

 

“Sam I had my eye off the ball it shouldn’t have happened and you know it.”

 

“So what Dean we got out alive that’s what’s important isn’t it. Hell we even saved a life.”

 

“Alive yeah but hurt, darn it Sam it got me, I should have been more….”

 

“More what Dean, vigilant. Dean you can’t be on guard duty 24/7 and you know it.”

 

“It got us caught Sam.”

 

“We needed some days away, some days for us. You telling me you regret this, what’s happening between us?” Sam felt lost and hurt for a moment or two.

 

Dean was at his side in an instant despite his shoulder hurting and his ribs aching he’d refused to let Sam drive, preferring to do it himself, the mantle of older more responsible brother forever hanging over his head.

 

“Sam I’m not saying that” Dean said putting a hand on Sam’s arm and squeezing softly “I’m saying it’s my job to make sure we” and for emphasis he pointed to himself then Sam “are okay, safe.”

 

“Dean you do a good job, this is only one time and she took us both by surprise plus she had that Shadow thing helping her, remember!”

 

“Yeah it blasted her ass didn’t it?” Dean couldn’t help the small satisfied smile creeping across his face.

 

“Yeah it did.” Sam huffed out a laugh 

 

“Sam”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Can you drive for a while my ribs are aching like nothing on earth right now.”

 

“Sure Dean.”

 

Dean handed Sam the keys and they both walked around to their respective sides of the car. Sam sat in the drivers seat for a while glancing sideways at Dean, then he lent over and kissed Dean quickly on the side of his face.

Dean looked at him curiously.

 

“What was that for?”

 

“Just a thank you.”

 

“A thank you, Sam this is a thank you.” 

 

Dean grabbed Sam’s face and planted a kissed firmly on his lips; it was soft and nice and started to make Sam feel light headed. As Dean pulled back slightly. He was watching Sam carefully making sure he was okay with this, Dean wasn’t so much as scared of moving forward just of messing it all up, frightened he ruin whatever it was they had already.

 

“It’s okay Dean” Sam whispered soft against his brother’s lips. “Nothing to worry about.”

 

“Good, so I can kiss you again then?”

 

“Yeah Dean you can.”

 

So Dean did just that he kissed Sam, their lips sliding together with ease, their mouths opening slightly to allow tentative exploration by tips of tongues. Sam pushed Dean back a bit so his ribs didn’t give him too much grief, he breathed hard as Dean looked back at him, their faces just millimetres away from one another. Jade green eyes stared back at Sam, the coloured flecks within taking on a starry quality, something a little too poetic to actually mention to Dean, he’d have laughed his head off if Sam had come out with that. Sam just revelled in the glory that was his brother.

 

“We seriously need a motel room Sam.”

 

“I know.” Sam whispered as he sat up straight and started the car up, a motel it was and it had to be soon very soon.

 

-O-

 

It lay on the outskirts of a science park on the edge of a small town, it was ordinary, plain and very normal looking but this was a place that was forever etched into both men’s hearts. It was rather originally called the Sleep Well Inn, and with a huge interstate nearby it was hardly what you could call a place of good sleep. The rooms were pretty big and included a small galley like kitchenette, a bathroom with separate bath and shower which for the Winchesters was luxury. The only draw back was that most of the décor was a strawberry ice cream pink, and pretty sickly at that. 

 

To be honest neither man actually noticed the colour of the décor they were only interested in paying for the room, getting in said room, salting the door and windows. They had other issues on their minds and it wasn’t sleeping.

 

As Dean poured the salt from the container he wondered to himself who’d be taking it and who’d be giving it and stood carefully to ask his brother.

 

“Sam”

 

“Yeah”

 

“Tell me how this works again.”

 

“Shit Dean do you need diagrams?”

 

“No, moron just explain who’s gonna be you know giving it and who’s gonna be taking it?”

 

Sam laughed from the bathroom and continued to chuckle to himself the sound reverberating off the walls. He came into the bedroom area and looked at Dean who had stopped salting everything he could, and was sitting on the bed feeling a little worried.

 

“Dean if you wanna give I don’t mind.”

 

Dean rolled his eyes, this was the oddest conversation he’d had with Sam and they could have some pretty odd conversations at the best of times. The lights were pretty dim in the room and before Sam could interject any more into the conversation Dean was up in front of him crowding him up against the wall, roughly removing his tee shirt the salt container was dropped on the floor at some point. 

 

Sam covered his brothers lips with his own and they kissed, it was all demanding, fast paced and erotically different. Kissing a woman was simple really, kissing a man wasn’t too bad but kissing your brother was something completed and so delectably wrong, Sam couldn’t help but like the sensation. His stomach was knotted, he had that low drippy feeling in his groin and he felt ready to burst the zipper on his jeans, they were definitely a couple of sizes too small, they tended to shrink when he was around Dean. Dean for his part wasn’t shy about extending his knowledge of his brother’s mouth or body for that matter, he kissed nipped and licked his way around Sam’s upper body like a man on a mission.

 

Sam let his head drop back a little feeling the relative comfort of the wall behind him, he groaned as he felt Dean’s lips latching onto a nipple, it sent shivers down his spine and tingles down his legs. He’d never wanted something so much and so badly as he wanted this right now.

 

He looked down at Dean who looked up at him, stopping his kissing Dean tipped his head slightly to the side in a querying way.

 

“Need more Dean.” It was whispered softly more as an encouragement than a demand.

 

“I know Sam.” Dean smiled grabbed a handful of Sam’s hair and pulled him into another kiss that took Sam’s breath away, Dean’s left hand slinked it’s way carefully down Sam’s body until it came into contact with Sam’s crotch.

 

Sam jumped slightly at the contact he wasn’t expecting that for certain and certainly not for Dean to be touching the way he was, with his palm flat and rubbing with just enough pressure. Sam groaned into the kiss and Dean pulled away looked at Sam then letting his gaze fall between them as he continued to rub at Sam. This was Sam’s undoing, he couldn’t stand it anymore he needed this so much and if he didn’t get it now he’d either combust or kill Dean, neither of which he really wanted to do. He pushed at Dean using the wall as leverage and they fell on the tacky bed spread of the spare bed. Tangled in legs and arms they struggled with clothing and after knocking the bedside lamp over they were plunged into semi darkness as they continued kissing and touching.

 

Electric shocks shivered their way up Dean’s arms as he let his hands roam over his brother, equally each time Sam’s large hands touched him he was momentarily blinded by the exquisite feel. He hardly noticed that his ribs were throbbing persistently and his shoulder was sore, he was too taken up with nibbling at his brother’s neck, the friction between them was beginning to get heated and before long Dean knew one of them would be prematurely going off. He stopped thrusting his hips into Sam’s and lay on the bed in a semi submissive way, though knowing Dean this was as submissive as a wolf, and probably just as dangerous but Sam was sensible enough to take what was being offered. 

 

Dean’s eye brows could just about be seen to disappear up his forehead as Sam reached over and took out a small bottle of liquid from the bedside drawer.

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Something to make it easier Dean, nice and slippy.”

 

Dean chuckled, Sam glanced at him smiled and poured some of the liquid onto the palm of his hand, snapping the lid shut he put the bottle on the bedside table and slid his hand over his brother’s cock, sack and to his entrance. Dean gasped loudly shot Sam a look of uncertainty then nodded slowly; knowing Sam wouldn’t do anything unless Dean was okay.

 

If Dean had known that it would have felt like it did he would have tried this years ago, he lay there gasping and pleading with Sam, the sweat ran in rivulets down his flanks his legs felt like they were set in concrete but the sensation Sam’s fingers were eliciting was blinding. Sam looked like he would lose it any second so Dean lifted up slightly grabbing a few extra pillows to shove behind him he need to see Sam, couldn’t lie there staring at the ceiling. Wanted to watch his brother’s harsh breathing, his eyes flicking to his face every few seconds, Dean reached out a hand and pulled Sam’s head towards him and kissed him. It was messy, sloppy slightly uncoordinated with the heavy breathing, but was the very best of kisses. 

 

“Can you stop now Sam?” Dean’s voice cracked slightly.

 

Dean felt the loss the instant Sam’s fingers disappeared, Dean missed them immediately but knew he wanted and needed Sam’s cock in there rather than his elegantly long but slightly boney fingers.

 

Sam took the hint and positioned himself in front of Dean, knowing this would hurt. Dean had pushed aside the suggestion that he get on his knees he couldn’t do that he wanted and needed to see Sam’s face in all this, needed that connection, or was it just his perverse nature coming to the fore. Dean actually didn’t care he was ready to scream if Sam didn’t get a move on and get doing what he was supposed to be doing.

 

Dean felt the blunt pressure of Sam’s cock, winced but breathed as instructed and before long he felt Sam filling him. He had to admit it hurt and from Sam’s expression it wasn’t that comfortable for him either, Dean was very tight despite trying desperately to relax. Finally they got a rhythm going and Sam pushed harder and harder into Dean, Dean’s moans and sharp gasps and encouragement were enough to send Sam toppling over the edge with Dean hanging on for sheer life and following him headlong into blissful oblivion.

 

Sam was breathing hard above him, his arms had given way and he was now covering Dean with his body. The harsh breathing subsided and Sam pushed himself carefully off Dean, Sam removed the condom and put it on the bedside table, Dean noticed.

 

“Gross Sam go throw it away.”

 

Sam chuckled moved begrudgingly and sat up seemed to have second thoughts about it, turned and looked at a sleepy sated Dean.

 

“Remember that time I asked you to remove one from that motel room we were in Delaware somewhere?”

 

“Vaguely Sam why?”

 

“You ended up putting it in my sock.”

 

Dean laughed remembering all too well the little prank he’d sprung on his younger brother; it hadn’t gone down too well with Sam who’d made a lot of noise about it. So much so it had caused their Dad to come and investigate, and then the shit had hit the fan. Dean remembered fondly being lectured about the sins of the flesh, like their father was a saint.

 

Dean heard Sam rummaging around in the bathroom then the bed besides him depressed and Sam snuggled up behind him. So his brother liked to snuggle who knew, Dean rather liked being wrapped up in his brother, it felt kind of comforting and soothing. 

 

“Wasn’t too bad was it?”

 

“Sam it was fucking fantastic.”

 

“Good, didn’t hurt much did it.”

 

“A little but once I relaxed it was just fine.”

 

“Wanna do it again?”

 

“Not yet Sam let’s sleep first.”

 

“I didn’t mean right now you doofus.”

 

“Yeah, tomorrow.”

 

“When?”

 

“Shut up Sam go to sleep.”

 

“Night Dean.”

 

“Night Sam.”

 

“I love you Dean.”

 

“I love you too you girl.”

 

Sam laughed but made no further comment, both occupants of the bed were sleepy and they closed their eyes contented, sated and tired.


	10. Chapter 10 - All the way to the end.

  
Author's notes: Final chapter folks. I hope I've tied it up nicely and neatly.  


* * *

Sam was being watched, Dean was trying to be crafty and watch him out of the corner of his eye, he was failing miserably but Sam let it pass. He didn’t mind Dean watching him at all, in fact if anything it gave him that warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach, knowing his brother was giving him a great deal of attention.

 

After their ordeal at the abandoned town and dropping Veronica off, they were at a lose end for a short time not really knowing if they should take a further rest. Dean’s shoulder actually clinched the deal for them and with broken ribs it wasn’t like he was going to be quick off the mark or anything. So an enforced rest was in order.

 

Dean was usually the one hating being cooped up in a motel room, hell he hated being confined anywhere, but he was enjoying being around Sam so much. His mind was set now and once Dean had his mind set in a certain way dynamite wouldn’t get him to think in any other way. He liked being around Sam again, loving it in fact, despite the occasional argument, but at the moment he was being careful not to argue, he couldn’t really go storming out the door anytime soon. 

 

Their relationship had gone from strength to strength in the few days they’d been holed up in the motel, finding strength comfort and warmth from each other. Something both men had been sorely missing most of their lives, but never really knew or understood what that particular void was that needed filling. There was nothing smoochy or romantic about either of the brothers, they didn’t need that sort of gratification they just automatically knew how each felt about the other. 

 

Dean groaned softly and let out a huge yawn, trying his hardest to stifle it and giving up. It gained a glance from Sam who just looked up from what he was clicking on over at his laptop, a small smile playing on his lips. He knew Dean was bored rigid right now, but he also was sensible enough to know he needed the rest, not that he was getting much of that, Sam could be very demanding in bed at times. Who knew his brother was so tactile, so bossy and so damn horny all the time, well Dean should have guessed really he’d spent most of his life being horny it just surprised him that Sam was more or less the same as he was.

 

“We have the open road in front of us, a list full of demon spawn and other assorted creepies to go seek out. What do you say to us blowing this joint and heading somewhere a bit more respectable?” Dean ventured putting his hands behind his head and trying not to look to desperate about leaving.

 

“You had enough of being stuck in here all the time Dean?” Sam never once took his eyes off the screen but he knew what the expression would be on Dean’s face; one of innocence well if you could call that look innocent.

 

“No not at all” Dean re thought things then continued “yeah actually, Sam I need the wind in my hair a song in my heart and to seriously get away from this dump.”

 

“Your hair is too short to have the wind flowing through it Dean.”

 

“Smart arse you know what I mean.”

 

“No Dean do tell.”

 

Sam’s expression was one of amusement causing Dean to hurl a pillow at his head; Sam just knocked it out of the way and laughed.

 

“Okay Dean, we’ll head out again tomorrow find somewhere new to hole up for another few days. Plus the food is crap here and the air con isn’t up to much either.”

 

Sam was right, it was very warm outside but the air con in the room just about kept it cool. They really wanted somewhere with a more temperate climate and little less heat, they’d had enough of desert heat to last them a life time. The yearning for cooler climes amused Sam, Dean definitely liked warm places, obviously the little adventure in the abandoned town had creeped him out as much as it had Sam.

 

Before Sam settled into bed that night he sent a text to Veronica, just to make sure she was okay and settling in at the mission. Dean never asked what he was doing, he was too confident with his brother to have any jealous feelings towards Veronica; poor girl had enough on her plate without him getting all Neanderthal over his brother.

 

Sam lay back on the pillow and both men stared at the ceiling for a short while.

 

“So is she okay Sam?”

 

“Yeah she’s working with the orphans at the mission.”

 

“Good for her.”

 

“You know she wants us to visit don’t you Dean?”

 

“Yeah that would be nice at some point, but seriously I’ve had enough of heat at the moment.”

 

“Really you’d want to see her again; despite her thinking you’re hot.”

 

Dean made a face and looked sideways at Sam who was smiling stupidly.

 

“Yeah right Sam, I don’t think I’m her type at all, plus she’s a little on the young side, don’t go in for cradle snatching here. More your type really.”

 

“Say what?” Sam started then instantly knew Dean was ribbing him, he chuckled softly hearing Dean laugh besides him.

 

-0-

 

The following morning Sam paid the bill and drove the car round in front of their room so Dean didn’t have too far to walk. He was a little annoyed about it to begin with but realised Sam was just doing what he’d do if Sam was in the same position as him. Still it was difficult for Dean to accept that Sam was looking after him but he did a good job of holding his tongue and not saying a word.

 

They drove in silence for a while, listening to the music on the cassettes and Dean enjoying the scenery instead of it flashing past him at a million miles an hour. He hummed tunes to himself but didn’t feel the need to make idle conversation with Sam who was a picture of concentration. 

 

He knew something was bothering Sam what ever it was had been since breakfast and it was worrying Dean a little now. He wanted to ask if Sam was alright but the right opportunity didn’t seem to raise itself, last thing he needed was a full scale fight in the car, make up sex would be good, but he didn’t really want to argue.

 

He waited, biding his time until they stopped at a much needed diner for much needed food and gas. Whilst Sam paid for the gas Dean hobbled into the diner and got them a table, close enough to the door to watch the comings and goings and near enough to a window to keep an eye on the car.

All automatic now, second nature for Dean. Sam glanced over at him as he pushed the doors open and stepped inside.

 

It was cooler outside and they’d been driving for at least 5 hours without a stop so a long break was in order, plus Dean needed to take a few more pain killers or he’d be like a bear with a sore head that evening. They ordered their food and whilst they waited Dean took the opportunity to speak to Sam.

 

“Everything okay Sammy?”

 

“Yeah why?”

 

“Nothing really you just seem a bit off.”

 

“Do I?”

 

“Yeah you do, what’s up?”

 

“It’s just me being girly again.”

 

“Yeah well what’s new there princess?”

 

“Jerk.”

 

“Bitch”

 

The food arrived and Sam relaxed a little more, he was desperate to know how Dean really felt about them and that after a couple of months he wasn’t suddenly going to change his mind. Sam really couldn’t deal with that at all, and he’d rather know now than further down the line when his heart would be fully in the relationship.

 

“So” said Dean waving a fry at him “you going to enlighten me of your problem?”

 

“Not really a problem Dean, more like a question.”

 

“Okay shoot”

 

“It’s about us” Sam glanced up at Dean who was watching him carefully.

 

“Yes and, what about us Sam.”

 

“Do you really want to continue the way we are, the way we’ve been you know really close?”

 

“Sam if I didn’t I wouldn’t have let it go as far as it has, believe me.”

 

“So in six months you’re not suddenly going to decide it’s not what you really want and go back the way things were?”

 

“No Sam I’m not. All my life I’ve looked for what I have with you and without realising you were what I’d always wanted and needed.”

 

Sam smiled, and to break the slight tension Dean carried on.

 

“You complete me Sam.”

 

“Shut the fuck up you idiot.”

 

Dean laughed and although it killed his ribs he was glad to see his Sammy smiling again. No more angst sessions he hoped, Sam just needed reassurance that this was what Dean wanted. Dean really wanted them to get to their next stop his intention was to show Sam how much he cared, and if he hurt his ribs then so be it, he’d take a couple of pain killers before hand.

 

As far as Dean was concerned he was with Sam all the way to the end.

 

The End.


End file.
